First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage... The Model Family

INTRODUCTION
Let’s begin today by reading our scripture passage of the morning together:

1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NKJV)
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.

We can all identify with the words of these verses. Circle these words on your outline: Father, brothers, mothers, sisters. How many of you, at one time or another in your life, have had or have been a father, mother, brother or sister? That’s family.

These were originally written by the Apostle Paul to a young man by the name of Timothy, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. They were later read throughout the churches as instructions for all believers and are now a part of inspired scripture for our study today. The practical instruction from Paul to Timothy is very practical for us also.

Author: Paul the Apostle
The author, Paul the Apostle, of course you recognize. He was formally trained with the best biblical education and was originally a persecutor of the church. Then he saw the resurrected Jesus on the road to a city called Damascus and his life was radically changed. He went from the greatest enemy of the church to the great apostle to the Gentiles. He traveled extensively on missionary journeys spreading the gospel. In some cities he was greeted warmly. In most cities he ended up being beaten or thrown in jail. He also developed a great team of leaders who traveled with him or stayed to minister in the cities where churches sprung up.

Paul’s writings form the majority of the New Testament and provide nearly all of our Christian doctrine today.

Recipient: Timothy the Pastor
Paul is writing here to Timothy. Timothy was one of those young men that Paul mentored. Timothy traveled with Paul. He was sometimes sent by Paul as a trusted messenger or problem-solver. By the time of this letter, Timothy was pastoring a congregation in Ephesus. Paul was still mentoring Timothy through his letters.

Timothy was more than a co-worker to Paul, he was like a son to him. Paul seemed to be a close friend of Timothy’s own family and referred to Timothy as ‘a true son in the faith’ (1 Timothy 1:2).

So here is the great Apostle, teaching a class of doctrine and pastoral studies to his prized student. When he comes to this portion of dealing with other people within the church he uses the best model that he can come up with: relationships within the family.

Conclusion of our series on the family
We will conclude our series entitled, “First comes love, then comes marriage…” by looking at this model: The model of the family; or The Model Family. We have touched on some very difficult family issues over the summer. Let’s end well.

Model (synoyms): prototype; original; ideal; design

What do you think of when you think of a model? Maybe you think of an overly thin woman strutting down a fashion run-way. Maybe it conjures up memories of taking small plastic pieces out of a box, gluing them to each other and to your fingers as you assemble a classic car or plane: something scaled down to look like the original. These are just a couple of examples.

A real model is more than just in appearance. A real model can be put to the test.

Architectural models
My cousin entered college just before me and was in the Architect’s program. I had a passing interest in Architecture, until I found out that they had to go to school longer, (it is a five-year program instead of four), and they were always doing school work. There was not time for fun. It just didn’t pencil out for me.

I nearly had a change of heart when I found out that they spent a lot of that time making models. They made model buildings, model bridges, even model cities. The models allowed them to see, in a three dimensional way, the things that they were drawing on paper. The models had another purpose, too.

The designs that they drew on paper and then built into models would have to endure stress. Each one was put under force and weight to see if the structural design they used held up. If it did, then the building itself would be safe and the student would pass the course. If the model couldn’t handle the stress that would be applied to it but buckled under the weight, then proper principles were not followed and the student failed. The stress test wasn’t just for the model, but also for the student who was hoping for a passing grade. Great thought and attention and planning went into these models.

Then, as a final celebration and rite of passage, when all the tests were done, the Architectural students would take their large and detailed models to the base of the Architectural school building. They ascended to the top of the multiple floor building with pumpkins and watermelons and buckets filled with water or anything else they could find, and they would bomb their models. It was quite an event. It was when we all wished we had chosen the Architectural program.

ALL IN THE FAMILY
The family is a model that God has given us. Is your family more than outward appearance and a shared last name? Can it be put to the test?

1. The family is a model of behavior to follow.

1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NKJV)
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.

When trying to teach Timothy how to best treat people around him, Paul used the model of the family. He was saying, “If you want to know how to treat an older man in a way that would be pleasing to God, think of the family. Treat him as you would treat a father. Treat a younger man as you would treat a brother. Treat an older woman as you would treat a mother. And treat a younger woman as you would a sister. If you do that, then you will be honoring to them and pleasing to God.”

Scripture is literally saying that the way we treat our family should be the standard by which we measure all other relationships. It should be the model. Is it?

 Be your best at home.

Who you are at home, with your family, is who you really are. Not when you’re with your friends or with your girlfriend or your co-workers. Who you really are is who you are at home, where you have nothing to prove and no appearance to keep up. If you are nice around your friends but nasty with your family, you’re a nasty person.

If you are sweet and kind to your girlfriend, but speak rudely to your mother, you are a rude person. Maybe you have heard: “If you want to know what kind of a husband a man will be, watch how he treats his mother.” Because it’s true.

If you are the knight in shining armor with your co-workers but Mr. Mean at home, guess what? You know who you really are.

Determine to be the best that you can be at home, and the rest will come naturally.
Here is a video I received of the model husband. See if you agree.

*** Video: ThePerfectHusband (1:00)***

2. The family is a model of differences to enjoy.

1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NKJV)
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.

Your family is made up of different individuals. Now, you may say, “Well, you got that right. Especially my brother, he is very different…” That’s not exactly what I mean. Every part has a unique role to play.

Notice in this verse it doesn’t say, “Treat an older woman as a brother,” or, “Treat younger women as fathers,” or even, “Treat everyone just the same. There is no difference whatsoever.” There are differences. We are wise to recognize those differences and appreciate them.

 Appreciate the individuals in your family.

Differences of opinion and differences of temperament are bound to show up in your family. Most of the time we allow these differences to escalate into competition, arguments and even whole scale wars. STOP! They’re not wrong. You’re not wrong. You are different.

Appreciate your family
Turn your outlines over, or get another piece of paper, and write down the left-hand side: Dad, Mom, and then your brothers and sisters. You can also include sons and daughters, etc, as it may apply.

Now, just to the right of each name, write one thing that you appreciate about them. It could be a personality trait, an act of kindness, a fond memory, etc.
Now, what would be even better, is if you could communicate this to them in some way.

3. The family is a model of destiny to fulfill.

1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NKJV)
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.

A father, a brother, a mother and a sister are given to you by birth. No one chooses their father, brother, mother or sister. God put you in your family by His design and for His purpose. That may be hard to swallow sometime, but it’s true.

Psalm 139:13 (NKJV)
13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.

A classic example: Joseph
Right here you may say, “No way. You can’t blame God for my family. He’s got nothing to do with them.”

Remember Joseph? Genesis, 37-50, tells his story. His brothers threw him into a pit with the intention of killing him, but then sold him into slavery. As a result, he was falsely accused and thrown into jail. He spent years in slavery and in prison, separated from his family, until God miraculously made him in charge of all Egypt. He was reunited with his family and was able to save them from the famine that would have taken their lives.

Instead of paying his brothers back for their cruelty, he understood that God’s plan was served through his family. He later says to his brothers, “What you meant for evil, God used for good.” (Genesis 50:20)

 Trust God to accomplish His purpose through the family He chose for you.

Maybe your family is fun and games, 24/7. Good. Maybe, like Joseph’s, it’s the pits. We don’t always know what God is up to, but we can trust Him. Thank God for your family.

CONCLUSION
Families: Right, wrong, good or bad, they are here to stay. You might as well love them and let God use them as He desires in your life.

Why fathers have gray hair
A father passed by his son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan, and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is so much older than I am. It's not just her passion, Dad. She really gets me.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood—just enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many children.

Please don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. I'm sure we'll be back to visit someday so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.