The Praise Initiative

*** Video: Thanksgiving at My House ***

Pure praise
A seminary professor of mine told me about a church that he once pastored. In this church there was a young boy who had Downs Syndrome. Once they got to know each other, this little boy loved his pastor. He said that he would often be standing in the church, talking to people about the sermon or the weather or whatever, when all of a sudden… bam! He would feel something hit his leg. This little boy would just grab his leg and hug him as tight as he could.

The pastor always sat at the front of the church so he could step right up to the pulpit when it was time to preach. One morning he was at the front of the church singing during the worship service when this little boy caught his eye. Without realizing it, the boy had sort of drifted right to the front and center of the sanctuary. There was this little boy with Downs Syndrome totally caught up in praising his Lord. His eyes were closed. His hands were lifted. His voice was singing praise to God. He was absolutely oblivious to everything and everyone who was around him.

As the pastor looked at this young boy he said, “Something came over me. I had the distinct sense that I was looking at someone who was gazing directly at the face of God. It immediately moved me to tears.”

What does it take to offer pure praise to God? Does it take a certain IQ? Does it take a well-developed vocal ability? Does it take a certain age level? Does it take accomplishment or prestige or financial status or citizenship or appearance or acceptance or discipline or strength or artistic ability or membership or indoctrination or particular political views or any of those things?

The answer is no. Praise God, the answer is no. What does it take?

THE PRAISE INITIATIVE
We are going to talk about the Praise Initiative today. If you have watched “Lost,” you may be familiar with the Dharma Initiative. I went online the other day to look at some real initiatives.

This is what I found:
National Nanotechnology Initiative; Global Reporting Initiative; Ethical Trading Initiative; Faith-Based Initiative; Nuclear Threat Initiative; eHealth Initiative; Healthy Forests Initiative; National Fatherhood Initiative; Women’s Health Initiative; Tobacco Free Initiative; Equal Justice Initiative; Biotrade Initiative; Children’s Literacy Initiative; and many, many, many, more.

These are important things. These are things that are worth initiating. These are things for which people are showing initiative. I think praise is important, and today I want to start a Praise Initiative. I hope you will join me.

First, let’s clarify some terms.
Initiative: a) An introductory act or step; leading action. b) One’s personal, responsible decision. c) The power or right to introduce new legislation.

For our purposes today, I want to distinguish between worship, praise and thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is different than worship and praise in that thanksgiving is appreciation to God for something that He has done for me. On Thanksgiving, we go around the table and answer this question: “What is something that you are thankful for?” That is a great question to ask and answer. It is important to have gratitude for what God has done for us. Without thankfulness we are thankless and ungrateful.

Praise and worship are very similar. Thanksgiving is gratefulness to God for what He has done or is doing. Praise and worship is gratefulness to God for Who He is. There doesn’t have to be a specific reason. Scripture says, “In everything give thanks,” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) meaning in the good and in the bad. No matter what. That is the essence of praise and worship.

In actual terms, praise and worship basically mean the same thing. The word ‘worship’ literally means ‘worth-ship.’ It means ascribing worth or value. ‘Praise’ comes from the word ‘prize.’ It means to prize something over everything else. Basically, they’re equal.

Practically speaking, I have noticed this distinction. Worship is normally used as a broad, umbrella term. It encompasses the attitude and actions that recognize God’s worth. It is the essence of being a worshipper.

Praise, on the other hand, is normally used to describe a particular act of worship. It is the expression of worship, usually a vocal expression of worship such as singing or speaking about how great God is. So, The Praise Initiative is about taking action and responsibility to express how great and awesome God is in practical ways.

Every initiative needs a good spokesman. Our spokesman today is the perfect spokesman for The Praise Initiative, King David.

Psalm 108:1-5 (NKJV)
1 A Song. A Psalm of David. O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise, even with my glory. 2 Awake, lute and harp! I will awaken the dawn. 3 I will praise You, O Lord, among the peoples, And I will sing praises to You among the nations. 4 For Your mercy is great above the heavens, And Your truth reaches to the clouds. 5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, And Your glory above all the earth;

What great imagery David gives us in these verses! You can envision David getting up early in the morning, before the dawn, looking over at his silent instruments sitting over in the corner and saying, “I know how I will start this day. I will begin with praise. I don’t need anything to stir me up and prepare me for praise. I’m ready right now.” And before the day had even begun, David was praising God.

Remember the old Army commercial that used to say, “We do more before eight o’clock in the morning than most people do all day?” (I always wondered why they thought that was a selling point.) Well, David could say, “I praise God more before eight o’clock in the morning than most people praise all day.”

1. My praise is my choice .

Awake, lute and harp! I will awaken the dawn. Psalm 108:2 NKJV
(Circle the words “I will”)

No one can choose for you whom you will praise. No one can praise for you, it is something you must do for yourself.

 It is personal.

Others can lead you into praise and worship, but no one can praise on your behalf. It is all you. The question isn’t, “How was the praise and worship in church today?” That is NEVER the question. The question is always, “How was YOUR praise in church today?” That is what really matters.

The camera is on you
You know those rides at those big amusement parks that have those cameras at the most exciting part of the ride? I remember years ago when our family went on Splash Mountain together. We were not alone. We waited and waited and waited our turn in line as the lines snake around, back and forth. There were hundreds of people. (Maybe millions) We finally got up to the front of the line and were ushered into our log ride, which was part of a number of logs joined together with people in all the logs.

The ride started off slow at first, floating through Disney scenes. Then it picked up speed and crested this hill where you face a straight drop. Right there you scream and hold on while a camera snaps a picture.

At the end of the ride you walk by a wall with all these pictures there just waiting for you. We found our picture on the wall. It was awesome. In the picture was just our log with just our family. Looking at the picture, you would think that we were the only ones on the whole ride.
God’s got one of those cameras. In those times of praise He only sees you. There is no one else around. What does He see?

2. My praise is a catalyst.

Awake, lute and harp! I will awaken the dawn. Psalm 108:2 NKJV
(Circle the words “Awake” and “awaken”)

How hard is it to wake you up for praise? What does it take? A little coffee… a few rifts on the electric guitar… some nice, melodic keys… a fast song, a slow song, then two fasts songs?? “If they play just the right songs in just the right way, then maybe I will join in to praise.” Do you need to be waked up for praise, or can your praise wake others up? When someone tries to wake you up for praise, do you hit the snooze alarm?

 It doesn’t need a push. It is a push.

 Thanksgiving needs a reason. Praise does not.

Awake, saxophone!
Here is a saxophone. (We don’t have any lutes. Pretend it is a lute.) Look at how quiet it is. If this saxophone started playing, then I could really praise. But it can’t. It is an inanimate object. It is unable to wake up and praise God. If I’m waiting for it, then I’ll be waiting a very long time.
Worshippers don’t need to wait for the instrumentation. The instrumentation has to wait for the worshippers. Add the worshipper, and watch what happens.

3. My praise is not confined.

Awake, lute and harp! I will awaken the dawn. Psalm 108:2 NKJV
(Circle the words “the dawn”)

David said, “I will awaken the dawn.” What does that mean? That means that his praise begins in the darkness. When it is still dark. When I can’t see what is happening around me. I’m not going to wait for the right conditions to praise the Lord.

 Praise in the darkness brings light.

Psalm 57:7-11
Was David in a nice, beautiful, comfortable temple when he praised the Lord? There is no indication where he was, is there? There isn’t in this psalm, but these words are an exact duplicate of Psalm 57:7-11. There we are told that David spoke this psalm while he was in a cave, hiding to save his life from King Saul. His praise was not confined to a certain time or a certain place.

Let me ask you a question: In the course of your week, where and when do you express praise to the Lord?

“Well, that’s simple,” you say. “I praise Him here on Sunday mornings.” Okay, great. What else? My point is, is your praise confined to a certain place and a certain time with certain conditions? If it is, I have good news for you. You do not have to confine your praise. You can let it out of its cage and give God praise all over the place.

CONCLUSION
Dayenu, recited at the Passover
If He had brought us out from Egypt, and had not carried out judgments against them
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed! (or “It would have been enough for us.”)
If He had carried out judgments against them, and not against their idols
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had destroyed their idols, and had not smitten their first-born
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had smitten their first-born, and had not given us their wealth
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us their wealth, and had not split the sea for us
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had split the sea for us, and had not taken us through it on dry land
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had taken us through the sea on dry land, and had not drowned our oppressors in it
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had drowned our oppressors in it, and had not supplied our needs in the desert for forty years
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had supplied our needs in the desert for forty years, and had not fed us the manna
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had fed us the manna, and had not given us the Shabbat (Sabbath)
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us the Shabbat, and had not brought us before Mount Sinai
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had brought us before Mount Sinai, and had not given us the Torah
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had given us the Torah, and had not brought us into the land of Israel
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!
If He had brought us into the land of Israel, and not built for us the Holy Temple
— Dayenu, it would have sufficed!

*** Video: Gift of Worship ***

EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Loneliness: You've Got a Friend

An emotional sermon series

Over the last eight weeks or so, we have explored this rarely navigated area of who God created us to be – our emotions. We have talked about attitude, depression, joy, grief, anxiety and anger. Today we are concluding our series with another powerful emotion: Loneliness.

*** Skit: “Freight Train Peace” (part 1) ***

LONELY IN A CROWD

The women in the skit feared what many of us fear: being alone. For many others, this is not a fear, it is a reality.

This is not due to a shortage of people. You can find a ticking population clock on line that will tell you that, as of today, the world population is estimated to be 6,630,364,193. The United States population is 303,337,455. (4.5% of world population)

There’s plenty of people, and the population is growing all the time. You can watch the numbers tick up constantly on the internet. So, how are we doing?

Americans have less close friends

A study conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, released in June of 2006, revealed that Americans have less people they can confide in than past generations.

In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them. In 2004, that number dropped to two.

Perhaps even more striking, the number of Americans with no close friends rose from 10 percent in 1985 to 24.6 percent in 2004. [Janet Kornblum, "Study: 25 Percent of Americans Have No One to Confide In," USA Today (6-23-06)]

Even the Apostle Paul had his share of relationship woes.

2 Timothy 4:9-17 (NKJV)
9 Be diligent to come to me quickly;

Be diligent to come to me quickly

Paul begins by saying, “Timothy, I need you, Buddy. Don’t leave me all alone. I’m lonely without you.” Let’s continue reading:

2 Timothy 4:9-17 (NKJV)
9 Be diligent to come to me quickly; 10 for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica—Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia. 11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry. 12 And Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. 13 Bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas when you come—and the books, especially the parchments. 14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15 You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. 16 At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. 17 But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.

Within this passage of scripture, we deal with 9 people with whom Paul had some type of relationship. And this is only a partial list of a much greater list throughout the New Testament. Four of these deal with specific relationship issues, and we’ll deal with those four in just a few moments.

Let’s make a couple of important observations and applications from this passage.

SURVIVAL TIP: Develop relationships with people

(Add in there, “Develop comparable relationships”)

The Apostle Paul was a model of ministry though relationships. But he wasn’t the only one. Page after page, the Bible is filled with relationships.

From the very beginning, in the original design and construction of people, there was wired in a need for relationships

Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

New King James: a helper comparable to him

New Living: a helper who is just right for him

New English Version: a suitable companion

New Int’l Version, New American Standard Bible: a helper suitable for him

- We are made for relationships.

Genesis 2:20 (NKJV)
20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

Here was the problem: There was man, there were the animals, and there were God. Man needed someone comparable to him for relationship. The animals were not comparable. And God was not comparable. Among the universe, he was a unique creation. He was all alone. He needed a pal.

… Someone who is like me… someone who understands me… a soulmate…This is true in our marriage relationship, but also applies to other friendships as well. We need companions. We need relationships with those who are comparable to us.

Which leads us to number two:

SURVIVAL TIP: Prepare for disappointment.

Here’s the deal: If you get into the relationship mode, you will experience disappointment. I guarantee it. It is inevitable.

- Demas: Forsaken.

Paul mentions Demas in other letters (Colossians 4:14 and Philemon 24). He refers to Demas as his co-laborer in the gospel. But not in this letter to Timothy. Paul served with Demas and figured that was a relationship that would stand the test of time. But at some point, Demas decided to go his own way – do his own thing – and they split paths. Demas left, “having loved this present world.” That generally means that he chose the good-life over the God-life. Paul didn’t see it coming. He couldn’t anticipate it.

Have you ever had a relationship that just went sideways like this? Not that you did anything to them or they did anything to you, you just went different ways. It can be hard to take. It happened to Paul. But he continued to build relationships.

- Luke: Faithful Few.

I feel bad for Luke here. Paul says, “No one is around. I’m all alone. Only Luke is with me.” Luke must’ve been thinking, “Hey, Paul, what am I, chopped liver?”

I had someone come into the church office when I was the only one there and say, “Where is everyone? Isn’t anyone here?” Well, I’m here and I’m somebody.

This last week I went to a pastor’s conference in southern California, and I was all alone. I flew down there alone, I stayed alone and I went to the sessions alone. Only Pastor Tom was with me.

Here’s the point. These faithful friends, like Luke (or Pastor Tom) are so valuable, but they are just too few. We need more of these faithful friends.

Who are your faithful friends? Who can you count on? confide in? be alone with? Do you have one? Good, but you need more. Don’t stop there.

- Mark: Forgiven.

The next person Paul mentions is Mark. He says, “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.” Luke is here. I want you here too, Timothy. And bring Mark with you. I want my three amigos with me.

Mark is mentioned in a number of other places in scripture. He was the cousin of Barnabbas. Peter called Mark “my son.” Mark was the writer of the Gospel of Mark, and most scholars think he did it using Peter’s eyewitness accounts. There are other interesting facts about Mark as well. He was well-connected.

But the most important fact for this conversation is this: This is the Mark, also known as John Mark, who went along with Paul and Barnabbas on their first missionary journey. Mark couldn’t hack it and, for some unknown reason, left the mission and went home. When Paul and Barnabbas were planning their second missionary journey, Barnabbas wanted to bring Mark along. Paul refused. Paul was so dead-set against Mark coming along that there was a sharp contention between Paul and Barnabbas and they split up. Paul went with Silas and Barnabbas went with Mark.

Mark had really disappointed Paul. But their relationship had been reconciled so that Paul said here, “Bring Mark with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.”

Some relationships will experience a falling out. One person may disappoint another. Those relationships can be reconciled. Not just put back to the position they were before the problem arose, but even better and stronger than before.

- Alexander: Foe.

There are some people that are going to give you problems. In this search for significant relationships, you will encounter enemies along the way. That’s okay. It is not a failure. It is going to happen. Don’t let this stop you from reaching out in relationship.

Paul said to Timothy, “This Alexander dude caused me a lot of trouble. He is against me and the Christianity that I preach.” Notice what he doesn’t say. He doesn’t say, “Go get him Timothy. You’re a young guy. Take him out. Slander him. Organize rallies against him. Write books against him.” His comments are so low key. He just says, “Watch out for him. Separate yourself from him. God will repay him. You don’t have to do that.”

Don’t waste your energy fighting your foes. Use your energy finding your friends.

There may be some people who have hurt you, like Demas. Bounce back. There may be a few people like Luke in your life, but too few. Appreciate them and find more. Maybe there are people with whom you need to reconcile, like Mark. Don’t wait. Do it today. There may be someone in your life like Alexander that has been a continual problem to you. Don’t waste your time with them. Just avoid them. Let God deal with them.

SURVIVAL TIP: Realize this: With Jesus you never stand alone.

Here is the most important survival tip of all. In verse 16 Paul says, “At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me.” Then he says in verse 17, “But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me.”

How do they do it without the Lord?

I know I tell you this all the time, but only because it happens all the time. One week ago I was standing by the hospital bed of a man in our congregation. He had been given a dreadful diagnosis. He had three weeks to live. They were going to have to begin some radical treatment.

I stood with him and prayed with him. We had a great visit. He had great peace and confidence in the Lord. Then he said to me, “I can’t imagine how people deal with these types of situations without the Lord. Without the Lord right by me, I don’t know how I would get through this.”

There is a tangible, real, priceless benefit when God stands by you and strengthens you.

*** Skit: “Freight Train Peace” (part 2) ***

- Jesus became comparable.

Remember how I said that in Adam’s relationship with God that He was not comparable? Well, God decided to change that, and so He became comparable in Jesus to have relationship with us.

Philippians 2:5-8 (NKJV)
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Anger: Don't Strike Out

Slapping the face of God
There is an amazing story that unfolds in the gospel of John, chapter 18, starting at verse 19.

It was nighttime. Jesus had just been arrested in the garden of Gethsemane where his disciples drew their swords to defend Him and Jesus said, “Put your swords away.” The detachment of troops bound Him and led Him to the Sanhedrin Council Chamber adjacent to the Temple. Late in the night, the Sanhedrin was called together to question Jesus – called from their families, called from their beds, perhaps, called from their favorite TV show. They were putting in some overtime tonight, all because of Jesus.

The ring leader was Annas, the high priest. He had actually been removed from that position by Rome and replaced that year with Caiaphas, his son-in-law. But, in Jewish law, the high priest was a lifetime position, so they brought Jesus to Annas acknowledging their law, not Rome’s. Before taking Him to be crucified, they would also have to take Jesus to Caiaphas.

Annas, the high priest and the most revered figure in the Jewish hierarchy, took his place to question Jesus. Others from the Sanhedrin took their place and crowded around Jesus. The high priest began the questioning, asking Jesus to tell him about His disciples and His doctrine. As if it were all part of some kind of a secret plot.

Jesus knew right where this was all heading. He said in essence, “It is no secret. I’ve taught openly and plenty of people heard what I said. Ask any one of them, they can tell you whatever you want to know.”

When Jesus said that, one of the officers of the high priest who was standing next to Jesus pulled his arm back. He was angered by Jesus’ words. How dare He speak that way to the high priest! Who did He think He was?! He was probably angered by the growing problem that Jesus had been causing them by gaining the support of more and more people. He may have been angered by having to spend a late night at the office. There may have been other factors, too. We don’t know. But this many pulled his arm back to generate some needed force. His muscles tightened. His body weight shifted. His face was furrowed with disgust and rage. He opened his palm towards Jesus’ face and, holding nothing back, he released his arm forward until, with a sharp sting, his open palm connected with the face of Jesus.

Stop action, right there, for just a minute, and look at this scene. Consider its incredible impact. Here is a man slapping the face of God. A man slapping the face of God because of anger. Jesus was bound. He didn’t fight back.

Think about this slap:

It was the first strike. This was the first of much greater and escalating violence that would come. Jesus was about to be beaten by soldiers. He would be scourged to within an inch of His life. He would then face the cruelest violence known to man: crucifixion. This slap started the whole thing. Violence often leads to greater violence.

This man faced Jesus in eternity. Do you ever think about those who committed violence against Jesus, especially this man? Some time after this event he died. When he got to eternity, just think about his reaction when he saw that the One running the place was the guy that he slapped out of anger. Wouldn’t that be a bummer? I would hate to be that guy.

When you or I strike out against someone else in anger, we are slapping the face of God. Jesus said, “When you do it unto the least of these, my brethren, you do it unto me.” (Matthew 25:45) For every explosion of anger or strike against another person we will face, not that person, but Jesus Himself. You might as well see your hand on the face of Jesus when you lash out at someone else.

Righteous indignation?

But we do have one defense, right? Righteous indignation! Sometimes we are justified in our anger because it is righteous indignation.

I would caution you about using that defense. First of all, I think it is way overused. Secondly, it can be very deceiving. This man, whom we just read about, would have said that his anger was the result of righteous indignation. He would have said, “This guy has been causing trouble, saying bad things about the religious leaders and then had an air of superiority over the high priest. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I mean, who does this guy think he is, anyway? When I heard him talk to the high priest that way, righteous indignation rose up inside me. I was totally justified in my actions.”

Beware of self-justification through righteous indignation.

Anger at Easter
I remember the first Easter in our household after becoming the Senior Pastor of this church. It was many years ago. The first Easter that I was preaching the Easter message that Jesus rose from the tomb and gives grace to sinners for eternal life!

We had three services, as we have had since that time. One was on Saturday night and two on Sunday morning. My two girls were much littler then. My wife and two girls woke up on Sunday ready to celebrate Easter. They were excited and ready for our family traditions that we have done on that day. I, on the other hand, was focused. I was in Sunday morning pastor mode. I was thinking about my message on grace, thinking about those who would come to the service. I was in the zone… on a high spiritual plain. When the girls wanted to do fun family things that morning before church, distracting me from prayer and study, I felt ‘righteous indignation’ rise up in me. Didn’t they know who I am? Didn’t they understand the spiritual responsibility I had?

And I blew up. A pastor of a church, on Easter morning, yelling at his poor kids. What a heart warming scene!

At that time we had a friend of the family living with us in a room upstairs. He heard the commotion from upstairs and figured the noise was us having a good time, celebrating the blessed day. He didn’t want to miss the party, so he came hurrying down the stairs. When he figured out it wasn’t a party, but me yelling at everyone, he quickly stopped his motion down the stairs and hid in his room.

I was wrong. It was stupid. But I sure felt justified at the time. I apologized to the family and we have never had that problem since.

KEEPING ANGER ABOVE ‘C’ LEVEL

We all deal with anger at one time or another. So, what does the bible say and what practical applications can we make to deal with anger?

There are three levels of dealing with anger that I want to talk about today. They are sequential, meaning they progress from one level of anger to the next. They all start with the letter ‘C’: Containment, Control and Change. The first step of dealing with anger is containment. The next step is control. The final step is change. Keep your anger above ‘C’ level.

Let’s use two great passages about anger. First, from Jesus and then from the Apostle Paul speaking to the Ephesian church.

Matthew 5:21-26 (NKJV)
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26 Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

Now from the Apostle Paul:

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV)
26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil.

CONTAINMENT
The first step is containment: do whatever it takes to make sure that no one gets hurt by your anger. This requires taking personal responsibility. Not “I didn’t mean to,” or “I felt justified,” or “I was having a bad day.”

SURVIVAL TIP: Take responsibility for your anger.

Jesus said, “If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

You go and take responsibility. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t wait for him to come to you. Take responsibility and do something about it.

 It’s not okay to hurt someone.

This is especially true if you have, and you know you have, an anger problem. You have a greater responsibility than anyone for containment.

Restrain the ox
In Exodus 21:28-36, God is giving the people specific direction for the laws by which they are to live. It says if an ox gores a person to death, then the ox should be killed, but its owner is not responsible. Then it says if the ox had gored before and the owner was warned that it was a gorer but the owner didn’t restrain the ox (containment), then the owner is totally responsible and should receive the death penalty. A big difference!

A tendency for anger is not an excuse. It is a greater duty to contain that anger.

Containment: a sturdy fence

Change this ox to a present-day pit bull. Think of anger as a pit bull. If that pit bull has been violent in the past and maybe even bitten someone, you have got to keep that pit bull behind a sturdy fence. You’ve got to make sure that it is contained. It’s not someone else’s responsibility. It is yours.

You can’t go places where you will be prone to anger. You can’t take part in activities that can aggravate your anger. You can’t be around people that make you angry. You can’t let yourself be in situations that will inflame your anger. You may need to take special anger management classes. Containing your anger is your responsibility.

CONTROL
Control: a good leash

The second level is control. Let’s say that pit bull of anger has been tamed a great deal. It no longer demonstrates the violence that it once did. You can now go out in public. But that dog will need to be controlled. You still need a good leash.

How do you put anger on a leash and exercise control? Here are three survival tips:

SURVIVAL TIP: Catch it early.

Jesus said, “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him.” Ephesians says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” One of the greatest bits of advice for dealing with anger is: catch it right away. Don’t let it spiral out of control.

Advice for newlyweds
Have you ever seen a video camera at a wedding catching people at the reception and asking them to give advice to the new bride and groom? If you have, you have heard people say, “Here’s the best advice I can give you: Never go to bed angry.” That is the most used piece of marital advice I have ever heard. And, it is good advice. It is taken from Ephesians 4:26. It is not only good advice for newlyweds. It’s good advice for us.

SURVIVAL TIP: Watch your mouth.

Thomas Jefferson once wrote some rules for living. “When angry count to ten before you speak, if very angry, count to a hundred.” Seventy-five years later, Mark Twain, the author, picking up on that same theme said, “When angry, count to four, if very angry, swear!” I wouldn’t take that last bit of advice.

Jesus said, “If you say, ‘Raca!’: and “… whoever says, ‘You fool!’” In times of anger, your mouth will get you into more trouble than anything else.

You may have noticed the word ‘Raca!’ in verse 22. It was a term of utter contempt in the Jewish culture. The word itself comes from the sound that is made when someone is clearing their throat, working up phlegm and preparing to spit on someone. It was a virtual loogie.

Put your mouth on a strong leash when you are angry. Watch what you say and how you say it.

SURVIVAL TIP: Make it right.

Matthew 5:24 says, “First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Do whatever it takes to reconcile with someone that you have wronged. Instead of being the aggressor, be the confessor.

 Turn ‘worked up’ into worship.

 Turn turmoil into testimony.

This brings honor to the Lord.

CHANGE
The last level is change.

Remember the picture of anger as a pit bull? If containment is a sturdy fence to prevent anyone from getting hurt, and control is a good leash that allows you to go out in public and manage anger, then change is a trip to the pet store.

This is when I say, “I don’t even want to own something dangerous anymore that needs to be contained or constantly controlled. I want to change.” It is trading in that pit bull for a calm and docile Labrador retriever, or a harmless lap dog.

Only Jesus can make that change for you. I left this area on your outline wide open; because what He can do to change you is also wide open. He can transform you from the inside-out. Only He can do it. He can transform anger into gentleness.

A changed life
One of the couples in our host home was sharing one night about how their lives had changed since giving their lives to Jesus. Neither one of them were Christians when they got married. Both have become Christians since then. She said the first indication she had that Jesus was real in her husband’s life is that his anger was gone. He noticed it too. He just didn’t couldn’t get angry like he could before. Jesus had changed him from the inside.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV)
31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Do you see the exchange there? Exchange bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking and malice for: kindness; a tender heart; and forgiveness… even as God in Christ forgave you.

CONCLUSION
Here is the best news of all, and I’ve saved it for last: God is not mad at you. Sin is a slap in the face to God. Hurting others is a slap in the face to God. Just like the officer in John 18, you have slapped Jesus in the face. But, you know what? He is not mad at you. He is forgiving toward you. His forgiveness has cancelled His anger toward you and can cancel your anger toward others.

Today we celebrate communion together. Communion is a testimony to that very fact, that God is not mad at you.

EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Anxiety: Sharpen the Axe

Is it real? Is it sharp?

There is a sword mounted on the wall in my office. It was given to me by a good friend who I served with in ministry. It is a symbol of the battle that we are in together. When I look at it, it empowers me for battle and reminds me that I am not alone.

There are two questions I most likely get asked about my sword. First of all, “Is it real?” And secondly, “Is it sharp?” The answer to both questions is yes.

The two questions are related. People want to know if it could really be used as a weapon, an effective weapon, or if it is just a souvenir. If it is real but not sharp, then it is not really a weapon, it’s just for show.

I have never sharpened my sword for two reasons: I have never used it; and I never intend to use it. (But that’s not what I tell people who come in for marriage counseling.) If used my sword it would get dull and if I wanted to continue using it, I would be wise to keep it sharp.

Now, I can ask you the same questions about your faith: “Is it real?” and “Is it sharp?”

Ecclesiastes 10:10 (NKJV)
10 If the ax is dull, And one does not sharpen the edge, Then he must use more strength; But wisdom brings success.

Solomon was not talking about axes in this verse. The ax is a metaphor. Wisdom says, “Don’t keep going and going and swinging with a dull ax. Over time and use, everything gets dull, there’s no shame in that. Take time to sharpen the ax and you will be much more effective.” This is similar to our current day saying, “Work smarter, not harder.”

But something else tells us, “Keep going. Don’t stop, not even for a minute. You don’t have time. You can’t afford it. Just strive harder and harder and harder.” That voice isn’t wisdom. It is anxiety. Anxiety tells you there isn’t time, you’re getting behind, don’t stop, don’t even slow down. The voice of anxiety is a very persuasive voice.

A good resource: The Anxiety Cure, by Dr. Archibald Hart

Dr. Archibald Hart, a strong Christian man, has become the foremost authority and resource on anxiety and anxiety disorders.

I’d like to share some things from his book, “The Anxiety Cure.”

Dr. Hart gives a brief overview of the most common types of anxiety on page 9: Panic Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Specific Phobia, Social Phobia, Agoraphobia, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Acute Stress Disorder, and Separation Anxiety Disorder.

THE TEN MOST RIDICULOUS THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO A PERSON WITH ANXIETY (or to yourself, for that matter), on page 13:

1. “We all get anxious, so just pull yourself together.”

2. “If you would just relax more, your anxiety will go away.”

3. “Have you committed some sin that God is punishing you for?”

4. “You worry too much, and worry never changes anything.”

5. “If you just try harder you wouldn’t feel so stressed-out.”

6. “Just ignore your problems and they will go away.”

7. “Anxiety can’t kill you, so just snap out of it.”

8. “If you had more faith, you would stop worrying.”

9. “Take a holiday and all your problems will go away.” (This one reminds me of What about Bob? “Take a vacation from your problems.” )

10. “If I can cope with my life, you should be able to cope with yours.”

In the first chapter of his book, Dr. Hart has a special message to Christian readers (p.13). He says:

My message is important whatever your faith – or lack of it. However, many of my readers consider themselves to be Christians so I want to address some of my remarks in this first chapter to these readers.

For Christians, my message in this book is particularly important. Primarily, because many of you have such a strong antidrug mind-set, you may be doing yourself a lot of harm by not considering a short-term trial on an appropriate antianxiety medication. Not all medications are addictive. Antidepressants are frequently the preferred medication for anxiety disorders, and they are absolutely not addictive.

Why should you consider getting professional treatment? Because serious anxiety problems only get worse if you don’t treat them early enough. A lot of evidence now indicates that untreated anxiety become “encoded” in the brain. In other words, it becomes a permanent problem.

But there is a second important reason why my message here is important to Christians. We Christians are probably more prone to developing a high level of stress, and we need to pay particular attention to the connection between adrenaline and stress. Just as we are ignorant about how the pressure we feel trying to live good lives can cause severe anxiety problems. Being good by relying on our own resources is a lost cause. The harder we try in our own strength, the more our lives become stressful. That is not what God wants from us.

He finishes the first chapter with these words:

Every day of my professional life, I encounter exceptionally fine Christian people who are experiencing incapacitating anxiety that robs them of peace and tranquility. They have aggravating sleep disturbances, aching ulcers, throbbing headaches, persistent high blood pressure, intractable pain, overwhelming tiredness, and worry that drives them into early graves. The problem is that anxiety itself doesn’t kill you; it just makes you wish you were dead. And such suffering is totally unnecessary. It can be prevented.

For the record as your pastor, I see no biblically based reason for refusing professional treatment and medication for emotional and psychological illnesses, just as you would not refuse treatment on a broken leg or insulin for the treatment of diabetes.

ANXIETY ABC’S

Notice the simplicity of today’s outline, the Anxiety ABC’s. I don’t want to add to our anxiety by offering a complex, twenty-step program. That would seem contradictory to me. So, let’s take it easy and simply consider the ABS’s.

SURVIVAL TIP: A – Ask. Take it to the Lord in prayer.

This is, undoubtedly, the first place to start with any concern or anxiety that I may have. Have I taken it to the Lord in prayer?

Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

There are those who say that we are not to be selfish in our prayers- that we are not to use prayers to ask God for things. This verse says, “let your requests be made known unto God.” Go ahead. Let Him know what you want and what you’re thinking.

But the peace that comes is not in knowing that you will get just what you want all the time. The peace is in knowing that He knows, and you know that He knows. But He already knows that you know that He knows… you know…

The peace is that He knows and will do, not according to your persuasive salesmanship, but according to His sovereign will. He knows your plan. And, if it is the best plan, He will do according to your plan. If not, what He has is even better. … You know…?

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

There is a great hymn with simple verses called, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Many missionaries say it is often the first song taught to new converts on the mission field. The first and most recognized verse goes this way:

1. What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

SURVIVAL TIP: B – Breathe. Take time to pause.

In order to sharpen the ax, you’re going to have to pause from time to time. I mean put the brakes on and come to a complete stop. Not a rolling stop, like some people do at stop signs, but a complete stop.

Luke 10:38-42 (NKJV)
38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” 41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Activity is good. I happen to be a fan of activity. We have words to describe a complete lack of physical activity for a long period of time. It is called a coma, or death. That is not good.

But activity is to be accompanied by periods of rest from time to time. It takes great faith to step away from activity and to be still.

The fourth commandment

From the very beginning of creation, God instituted a Sabbath cycle. “Six days shall you labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work.” (Exodus 20:9b-10a) “For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day.” (Exodus 20:11)

This command was for the people wandering through the wilderness and also for the Promised Land that they were to enter. Violation of this principle has short-term and long-term consequences.

Short-term: time wasted

God told the people to collect manna for six days, but not on the seventh. Some of them went out anyway to get more, but it wasn’t there. They were wasting their time. Study after study tells us today that without rests we don’t become more efficient, we are less efficient. We are wasting our time.

Long-term: forced Sabbath

When the people didn’t honor the Sabbath, and give the land it’s Sabbath, God basically said, “Fine, then I’ll give the land a Sabbath.” According to Leviticus, 2 Chronicles and Jeremiah the prophet, that is the reason that the people of Israel went into exile for seventy years in Babylon, because they didn’t honor the Sabbath.

Sometimes, not always, the result is the same for us. We’ll go and go and go and go, not recognizing the need for rest, until there comes a crash. It may be physical or emotional, but all of a sudden everything comes to a screeching halt. It may well be that you have some Sabbath rests to catch up on.

SURVIVAL TIP: C – Eliminate clutter.

Physical clutter causes anxiety. Even good things, too many of them or without order, can get in the way and cause anxiety.

Look at how we use the word ‘anxious.’ It is confusing for us as Christians. We shouldn’t be anxious, but what about Christmas, or taking a vacation, or getting married?

Did you know that even good anxieties, like getting married or having children or getting promotions, cause stress? It is called eustress. Don’t totally eliminate good things from your life - that would be silly - but recognize their stress on your life.

Matthew 6:25-34 (NKJV)
25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

The Greek word ‘worry’ in v. 25 (the same word as ‘anxious’ in Phil. 4:6-7) comes from the word meaning, ‘divide, part or share’ from the sense of being split into many parts or divisions; to be divided. There is just too much going on.

Garage clutter

Think of the typical garage. It is part storage shed for unused stuff, for lawn care equipment and for kid’s play equipment, part workshop, part mud room, maybe part practice area for a garage band. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, you’re supposed to park your car in there. When there is too much going on it can’t even be used for its primary purpose. (“How many people here can actually get their car in their garage?”)

Choose. Set priorities. Attend to the most important things. Give first priority to seeking God and let others fall into place. Don’t attend to them. You have permission not to.

Take control

I heard some great wisdom from a woman in our congregation. She said that she had been struggling with a lot of anxious and negative thoughts. Sometimes they would just overwhelm her, one after the other and clutter up her mind. The worse of all were the ‘what-if’s that brought worry and doubt.

She told me that her sister asked her a question, “If someone came into your house and talked to you in that way, would you listen to them? No. You would throw them out. In the same way you’ve got to take control of your thoughts. Don’t let them talk to you that way.”

That’s pretty good advice. Take control.

Conclusion
Quick review:

A – Ask. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Pray

B – Breathe. Take time to pause. Pause

C – Clutter. Eliminate clutter. Purge

This does not solve all of our anxiety issues, but it helps put them in perspective. There is a lot to do. Don’t forget to sharpen your ax.

EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Grief: Don't Keep it Bottled Up

A family’s ultimate grief

When I came here as senior pastor over nine years ago, there was a family in this church who was going through a very difficult grief: the death of their son who was nearly twenty years old. The loss of a child is a difficult thing to go through. I have walked through it with too many people who are a part of this congregation. There is never anything that can be said or done to make it easy.

This family had lost their son. Not only had they lost their son, but he had been murdered. He had gotten involved with the wrong crowd, there were drugs involved and he had been shot. Of course, this compounds the grief.

And then, when I came into the picture, this couple was going through the trial for those who were accused of killing their son. They sat, day after day, listening to testimony of what happened, and how it happened, and who was involved. They relived the horror again and again. Grief added upon grief.

I didn’t feel like there was much I could do. This couple hadn’t been an overly active part of the church and hadn’t made a lot of friends at the church. At first, I didn’t know them all that well. What could I do? All I could do was sit with them. So I did. Every opportunity I had I went down to the courtroom and sat there beside them. I felt some of their grief, but only a small fraction.

When the trial was over, they were even more withdrawn than ever. They were so hurt, especially her. How could they function? How could they go on with life when their life had been altered so much? We had some conversations, but they had a lot more questions than I had answers. I listened and I cared, but I didn’t fix anything.

I tried to keep contact with them. Sometimes they would come around church, sometimes they wouldn’t. When they did I tried to reach out to them because no one else knew the situation. No one had relationship with them.

It took some time. At first, there was no desire to move on in any way. That was understandable. Then there were the questions, “Can we ever move on?” Questions are good. It was the first sign of life. The ‘can we ever’ questions then became the ‘how can we’ questions. From possibility to process. Good. Step by step.

After a time I saw them beginning to reach out and make friends here at church. They began going to smaller group gatherings that were available. They were still hurting, but they were starting to breathe again. People began to know them, and like them. They are a wonderful couple with a lot to offer.

I remember the day – it was a huge step – when they said they wanted to talk with me. I got together with them and it was the wife who told me that through the recovery of this great grief there had been people there who had helped them get through what they had gone through. The ones who were most beneficial to them were those who had also lost children in tragic circumstances. It wasn’t even that they had any particular wisdom or knowledge that anyone else had, but they had been through it themselves. Just being with them, seeing that they had made it, was what kept this couple going.

The wife continued, “We want you to know that if there is ever anyone here at the church that is in a similar circumstance, we want to be available to meet with them and be a support to them. We understand.” This was the step out of darkness and into sunlight for them: from grieving to relieving the grief of others.

This couple began serving in many ways, not hiding in their grief but pouring out to others in relationship and in sharing the good news of God, Who was faithful to them in their time of grief. I watched them bloom beautifully.

They had to move away, unfortunately, but have continued to bloom in the new city and the new church where God has placed them. We still keep in touch. They still come around when they are in town. They are thriving, not just surviving. They are a part of church leadership, leading to potential full-time ministry. Last year they went to Israel and were a part of the International Foursquare Convention in Jerusalem.

Everyone deals with times of grief

Grief is something that is very personal and individual, and yet, at the same time, is something that we all have in common. Grieving is a part of life.

*** Video clip: gravestones ***
watch clip

Let me read you a particular passage in scripture about God and our grief. It is in the book of psalms, written by David.

Psalm 56:1-9 (NKJV)
1 To the Chief Musician. Set to “The Silent Dove in Distant Lands.” a Michtam of David When the Philistines Captured Him in Gath. Be merciful to me, O God, for man would swallow me up; Fighting all day he oppresses me. 2 My enemies would hound me all day, For there are many who fight against me, O Most High. 3 Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. 4 In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? 5 All day they twist my words; All their thoughts are against me for evil. 6 They gather together, They hide, they mark my steps, When they lie in wait for my life. 7 Shall they escape by iniquity? In anger cast down the peoples, O God! 8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? 9 When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me.

Now, let’s read together verse 8, on the top of your outlines:

Psalm 56:8 (NKJV)
8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?

What can we make from this passage, especially from this phrase, “(You) put my tears in Your bottle?”

TEARS IN A BOTTLE
I think this is one of the most tender portions of the Bible that speaks of God’s love. There are more direct portions, like where it says “God is love.” There are even more definitive portions, like 1 Corinthians 13 that tells us all about real love. But I don’t know if there are any more tender passages than this one. It says any tear that I cry is known by God. Not just known by Him, He is near enough to me at those times to capture that tear, chronicle it and remove it from me. This is a tremendous passage.

SURVIVAL TIP: No tear is wasted: Show it.

Lachrymatory
Have you ever heard of a lachrymatory? It is also called a ‘tear bottle.’ No one knows for sure how far back tear bottles date, but some believe this psalm indicates they were in use in King David’s day.

Tear bottles have been found in ancient Roman tombs. As mourners would follow the body of a loved one to its tomb they would carry these small, glass vials and collect their tears along the way. The bottle was then left inside the tomb in tribute to their devotion for their departed loved one.

We also know of lachrymatories being used during the U.S. Civil War. Stories of soldiers leaving their wives or new brides with a tear bottle can be found in literature of the day. Some husbands are said to have hoped that the bottles would be full upon their return, as an indication of their wives devotion. Sadly, many of these men never made it back home. Historical references also indicate that tears were saved as a remembrance of loved ones or to pass along to future generations.

§ God keeps it bottled up, so you don’t have to.

Of course, the prerequisite for this promise of God’s tenderness and nearness is the shedding of tears. Scripture says we are to weep with those who what? With those who weep. (Romans 12:15) Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) To receive the comfort, we have to let it go.

Don’t hold back and don’t be ashamed to show grief. It’s good for you.

The value of tears
I believe this verse also tells us that there is a value to every tear that we cry. Why else would God carefully bottle each one? There is a value that we don’t understand.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NKJV)
5 Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy. 6 He who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for sowing, Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him.

In heaven, you will be ushered into a spiritual garden that is green and lush and ripe and full for you to enjoy for all eternity. It is a garden that is watered by your tears.

SURVIVAL TIP: Don’t grieve alone: Share it.

In this verse, David is sharing his tears, sharing his grief. We must too. We share our grief with God, first of all. We are also to share our grief with other people.

We are called to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2) We are told to “comfort each other.” (1 Thess. 5:11) We are to “weep with those who weep.” (Rom. 12:15) You may think you are saving someone else by not sharing your grief with them, but you’re not. Grief is something that is to be shared. If you don’t share it, it doesn’t fulfill its purpose.

As a pastor I have sure seen the value of funerals and memorials for sharing grief and loss one with another. It is powerful.

§ It’s not just for you.

As in the story I shared, God will use your grief and the comfort you receive, to touch others. Jesus is our ultimate example of sharing grief.

Isaiah 53:3-4 (NKJV)
3 He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 4 Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted.

Jesus chose to experience grief so that He could share it with you. He is a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. He has borne your griefs and carried your sorrows.

SURVIVAL TIP: God’s got it covered: Shelve it.

This is not intended to sound unfeeling or insensitive. Quite the opposite.

A view of eternity
Catch this picture: In times of grief, God comes near to tenderly catch every tear in His bottle. As He bottles those tears, He takes guardianship. You can trust Him with them. He won’t spill a single drop.

Now, in His bottle, He can remove those tears and that grief from you. It won’t be far. He doesn’t get rid of them. He carefully bottles them. He’s got a special place for them. They are on His shelf. You’ve got to trust Him.

When you get to heaven, you can sit down with Jesus and He will place before you a number of bottles. He will take them one at a time and say, “In this bottle are the tears from the time when your puppy died. Remember that? You were so grieved and I grieved with you because I am acquainted with grief. Here are those tears.”

And you will see in every case that you were tenderly cared for. He will show you what good purpose those tears served.

There may be some times when He says, “These tears were because of a wrong that you suffered. Someone else wrongly caused these tears. I will now exact payment for these tears, for ‘“Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”’” (Rom. 12:19, Heb. 10:30) We can trust Him. You don’t want to cause someone else’s tears and be on the wrong side of that equation.

In the here and now
That’s in heaven. In the meantime, you can go over to that shelf yourself in order to help someone else in a time of grief and sorrow, take down that vial of tears and say to them, “See these tears? This is the grief I felt, just like your grief now. I trusted them to God and they are in His safe-keeping. He can do the same for you.”

§ Not to minimize grief, but to maximize it.

I don’t want to minimize your grief by saying, “It’s no big deal, just get over it.” It is a big deal. God thinks it is a big enough deal to bottle every tear. But, if you demand to keep your grief always with you, never willing to part from it or be separated from it for a minute, you may well drown in your grief. Trusting God and gaining separation from it when the time is right only maximizes the purpose and the benefit of your grief.

When it is on the shelf, you have control over it. It doesn’t have control over you.

Conclusion
God is at work, tenderly doing things we don’t understand in our times of grief.

EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Joy: Spread it Around

In light of our series Emotional Survival Manual, let me read you another survival tip from The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook that you may find helpful:

How to escape a wild taxi ride

 Claim you have no money. Tell the cabbie you forgot your wallet. The ride should end immediately.

 Light a cigarette. Tell the cabbie that his driving is making you nervous and light a cigarette (or a cigar, for better results). Smoking in cabs is usually illegal and your driver may stop the car.

 Threaten to vomit. Inform the cabbie that his driving is making you sick. There are few things cabbies like less than a passenger who vomits in the backseat. The driver may ask you to exit the cab.

 Use your cell phone. Make a loud show of pretending to call police (or the local taxi commission) and reporting the driver’s name and license/medallion number. The driver will want to get rid of you as soon as possible.

 Run. If the cab stops at a light, open the door and take off.

 Jump. If the driver will not stop, wait until the cab approaches a turn or slows for a light. As the driver brakes, open the door on the side of the cab facing the sidewalk. Do not bail out in traffic. Tuck your chin to your chest, cover your head with your hands, and jump out of the car. Roll away from the taxi in a somersault position, protecting your head with your arms. If you have a bag or leather briefcase, hold it on top of your head for added protection. Make sure your path takes you away from the rear wheels. The cab’s forward momentum will cause you to roll for several yards before coming to a stop.

Joy
Last week we talked about depression and we kind of enjoyed it. This week we are talking about joy, so I hope it doesn’t depress us.

Sometimes it seems as though there is a drought of joy… as though the events of joy in our lives are few and far between. With that in mind, let’s look at a passage of scripture to frame our discussion about joy, and then I want to share with you some of my favorite joy verses.

Numbers 21:10-20 (NKJV)
10 Now the children of Israel moved on and camped in Oboth. 11 And they journeyed from Oboth and camped at Ije Abarim, in the wilderness which is east of Moab, toward the sunrise. 12 From there they moved and camped in the Valley of Zered. 13 From there they moved and camped on the other side of the Arnon, which is in the wilderness that extends from the border of the Amorites; for the Arnon is the border of Moab, between Moab and the Amorites. 14 Therefore it is said in the Book of the Wars of the Lord: “Waheb in Suphah, The brooks of the Arnon, 15 And the slope of the brooks That reaches to the dwelling of Ar, And lies on the border of Moab.”
The children of Israel were plodding along, going from one hard-to-pronounce place to another, from one wilderness to the next. Does your life ever feel like that? Where is the joy?
16 From there they went to Beer, which is the well where the Lord said to Moses, “Gather the people together, and I will give them water.” 17 Then Israel sang this song: “Spring up, O well! All of you sing to it— 18 The well the leaders sank, Dug by the nation’s nobles, By the lawgiver, with their staves.” And from the wilderness they went to Mattanah, 19 from Mattanah to Nahaliel, from Nahaliel to Bamoth, 20 and from Bamoth, in the valley that is in the country of Moab, to the top of Pisgah which looks down on the wasteland.

Traveling in the wilderness you need water. When it has been a while since you have seen water and you don’t know when you’ll see it again, a well or a spring is cause for great joy. It was an oasis from the rigors and the routines of life. They sang and they celebrated. Not only did they fill their water pots with life-giving water, they also filled their souls with life-giving joy. Both are greatly needed.

SPRING UP, O WELL
There is an old camp song based on this passage: “Spring up, O well, within my soul. Spring up O well, and make me whole. Spring up, O well, and give to me that life abundantly.”
The best thing about it are the actions and motions, where you jump up out of your seat and make splashing sounds and motions with your hands. I thought it would be fun to do it together… but I don’t think so. Let’s just use this idea to talk about joy.

SURVIVAL TIP: Everyone needs joy. (Write in below: “And God knows it”)

From there they went to Beer… (Numbers 21:16)
Some of you may be very happy to hear me say that, in God’s mind, Beer is associated with joy. God saw that they needed something to give some joy to their life, so He said, “Let me take you to Beer.” Of course the word ‘Beer’ in Hebrew means “well.”

I think you and I both need to have joy in our lives. It is not just a frivolous thing or an added luxury. We need joy. Everyone does. And God knows your need. He is a God of joy and a giver of joy. Jesus said:

John 15:11 (NKJV)
11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full."

God is not against your joy. He is all for it.

SURVIVAL TIP: Joy has a reason and a response.

Then Israel sang this song: “Spring up, O Well!” (Numbers 21:17)
Israel sang because of the well. The well was the reason and the song was the response. Real joy has a reason and shows a response. Here are some examples:

Luke 15:8-9 (NKJV)
8 “Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’

She throws a party because she found her lost coin. Here’s another:

Matthew 13:44 (NKJV)
44 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

Finding a treasure is reason for joy. This man gladly gave up everything for it.

John 16:21 (NKJV)
21 A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

The reason for joy here is the birth of a little baby. Notice something else in this passage: Joy overcomes sorrow and anguish and pain. Could it be that our problem in life isn’t too much sorrow but actually not enough joy?

SURVIVAL TIP: Share. There is plenty for everyone.

Gather the people together… (Numbers 21:16) All of you sing to it – (Numbers 21:17)

There were a lot of people here. By all estimations there were a couple million, at least. Gather everyone together. Don’t be stingy. There is enough for everyone. Joy is to be shared. It doesn’t loss strength but gains strength when shared.

Nehemiah 8:9-12 (NKJV)
9 And Nehemiah, who was the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, “This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn nor weep.” For all the people wept, when they heard the words of the Law. 10 Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” 11 So the Levites quieted all the people, saying, “Be still, for the day is holy; do not be grieved.” 12 And all the people went their way to eat and drink, to send portions and rejoice greatly, because they understood the words that were declared to them.

Share joy with others. This is the emphasis for our Host Homes this week.

SURVIVAL TIP: Fill up. It may need to last for a while.

Most of the time Israel didn’t know when they would see their next oasis. So they camped by the water. They drank deeply and they stored it up in any containers they could find.
Joy is the same way. You don’t know when your next oasis may be. Drink deeply of joy every chance you get. Fill up. When one time of joy comes to an end, it may be a while, but another oasis is coming.

Psalm 30:4-5 (NKJV)
4 Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. 5 For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Just around the corner… just when you need it… God will provide a well of joy. Don’t miss it.

SURVIVAL TIP: God is the source. Enjoy Him.

"The well the leaders sank, dug by the nation’s nobles, by the lawgiver, with their staves.” (Numbers 21:18)

People can help, but God is the source. Leaders can point you in the right direction. Noble, thoughtful people can help you dig. But God, the Lawgiver, is the source. There is no joy like the joy that comes from Him.

Acts 2:41 (NKJV)
41 Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them.

Notice in Acts 2 that they gladly received His word. Where are those who are gladly receiving God’s word today? The root of that word is ‘hedone’ from which we get our word hedonist and hedonism, the love of pleasure. They didn’t receive God grudgingly or under a weight of guilt but joyfully, delighting in God.

Desiring God
I can recommend a good book on this topic from John Piper called, Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. In it, he writes: “Then I was converted to Christian Hedonism. In a matter of weeks I came to see that it is unbiblical and arrogant to try to worship God for any other reason than the pleasure to be had in Him.”

One final passage. Jesus is talking to the seventy He sent out to minister:

Luke 10:17-20 (NKJV)
17 Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” 18 And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. 20 Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”

Notice that Jesus doesn’t say, “Do not rejoice in this” as if to say, “You don’t need a reason to rejoice. You just better rejoice for no reason at all.” He says, “Do not rejoice in this… but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.” All other reasons will ultimately fade, but not this one. It’s always a reason for rejoicing, a constant supply.

He is our constant source. That’s why Philippians 4:4 is able to say, “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” We always have a reason and worship is our response.

CONCLUSION

Determining our quality of life
From his hospital bed on the eve of open heart surgery, Pastor Bruce McIver asked his cardiologist, Dr. Dudley Johnson, "Can you fix my heart?" The physician, known for being short and to the point, said, "Sure." Then he quickly turned and walked away. Following the 12-hour surgery, McIver asked Dr. Johnson, "In light of the blocked arteries that I had when I checked into the hospital, how much blood supply do I now have?" "All you'll ever need," replied the terse surgeon, who again ended the conversation by walking away.

Upon his discharge from the hospital, McIver's wife, Lawanna, asked the doctor, "What about my husband's future quality of life?" Dr. Johnson paused and then said, "I fixed his heart; the quality of his life is up to him."
[Bruce McIver, "Stories I Couldn't Tell While I Was a Pastor" (Guideposts, 1991), p. 244-247; submitted by Hugh Poland, Kingwood, Texas]

Your quality of life is up to you. What will it be?

 How many wells of joy do we walk right by without noticing; without drinking up and filling up?

 How willing are we to share with others the joy that we ourselves have received?

 Do you enjoy your relationship with God, or is it a drag?

It really is up to you.

EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Depression: Learn from the Worm

Steven Wright quotes
In our emotion series today we are going to be talking about depression. I thought, “How can we make this fun?” I thought of a comedian by the name of Steven Wright. He’s the most depressed comedian you’ll ever see. It may seem like a contradiction, but his stuff is pretty funny.

Here are some quotes:

 The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
 Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
 If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
 Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
 The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
 The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
 If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
 Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
 Half the people you know are below average.
 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
 When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
 When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child....eventually.

The mystery of depression
Like many emotions, depression is a mysterious thing. There are many different understandings about the nature and the meaning of the word ‘depression.’ There is something called a ‘tropical depression.’ That seems like a good one to have. If I am going to suffer from depression, I want it to be a tropical depression. Or, here’s another one: The Great Depression. That sounds pretty good, too.
The depression I’m talking about today is not the tropical kind or the great kind.

Disclaimer
I am approaching this topic from a pastoral standpoint. I am not a psychologist or a therapist. I have no training in mental or emotional disorders. I am talking to you as a pastor, making some biblical observations. That’s what I do.

Let’s begin with a verse from Proverbs:

Proverbs 12:25 (NKJV)
25 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.

The King James Version says:
Proverbs 12:25 (KJV)
25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

You can tell by the word ‘but’ in this verse that an adverse relationship is being set up here. In other words, the last part of this verse is in converse of the first part. Heaviness or anxiety literally makes a heart low, presses it down, ‘depresses’ it. The opposite of that is gladness, joy or rejoicing.

This heaviness of heart, either chronic (lasting a long time) or catastrophic (suicidal) is what I am referring to as depression. The Bible recognizes depression and gives us some practical advice.

A WHALE OF A WORM
Let me ask you a question. How many of you have heard the story of Jonah and the whale? (Show of hands) Okay. Now, how many of you have heard the story Jonah and the worm? (Show of hands) Which of those two animals – a great fish or a small insect – do you think was a greater threat to Jonah? You may be surprised.

Jonah, chapter one: God tells Jonah to go and preach to Nineveh. Jonah didn’t want to, so he hopped on a ship going the opposite direction. A storm comes. Jonah gets tossed overboard and gets swallowed by a great fish.

Jonah, chapter two: Jonah has some time to think in the belly of the fish. He thinks about how great God is and, surprisingly, he is actually in a pretty good mood. He says he remembers the Lord and he has ‘a voice of thanksgiving.’ The fish vomits him up, he brushes off some seaweed and he is no worse for the wear. He’s doing okay.

Jonah, chapter three: God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh to preach. This time Jonah decides it is a pretty good idea. He preaches in Nineveh. The city repents and one hundred and twenty thousand people are saved from destruction.

Jonah, chapter four: Now Jonah isn’t happy, he’s bummed. He’s mad because God saved them. God says, “Is it right for you to be angry?” Jonah says, “Yeah it is. In fact, it would be better for me to die than to live.”

Jonah 4 (NKJV)
1 But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. 2 So he prayed to the Lord, and said, “Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. 3 Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!” 4 Then the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?”
Have you ever been that upset about something? Jonah was so bummed that he didn’t want to live. Jonah was a regular guy. He was about to learn something from a worm.
5 So Jonah went out of the city and sat on the east side of the city. There he made himself a shelter and sat under it in the shade, till he might see what would become of the city. 6 And the Lord God prepared a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be shade for his head to deliver him from his misery. So Jonah was very grateful for the plant. 7 But as morning dawned the next day God prepared a worm, and it so damaged the plant that it withered. 8 And it happened, when the sun arose, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat on Jonah’s head, so that he grew faint. Then he wished death for himself, and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” 9 Then God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?” And he said, “It is right for me to be angry, even to death!” 10 But the Lord said, “You have had pity on the plant for which you have not labored, nor made it grow, which came up in a night and perished in a night. 11 And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which are more than one hundred and twenty thousand persons who cannot discern between their right hand and their left—and much livestock?

The whale made Jonah grateful for life. The worm made Jonah want to die.

SURVIVAL TIP: Don’t let depression get you down.

One thing that we learn from scripture is that sadness, or depression, is not a sin. Jonah was sad even to the point of death. He was depressed. Not for a highly rational reason, he just was. Notice that God did not say, “You shouldn’t be sad or upset.” He said, “Shouldn’t I feel the same way about Nineveh?” He doesn’t rebuke Jonah’s depression; He uses it to teach Jonah something about His feelings for Nineveh.

 Don’t add guilt to depression.

Nearly every Christian who suffers from depression, either chronic sadness or catastrophic sadness, adds guilt to their already weighed-down heart. Does that help? No. It comes from the thought that, “If I were real godly, I wouldn’t feel this way.” Is that true? Is that biblical?
Moses was once so discouraged that he asked God to take his life from him (Numbers 11:15). Elijah prayed for God to end his life (1 Kings 19:4). So did Job (Job 6:8-9) and Jeremiah (Jeremiah 20:14-18). Those are just the ones we know about.

Jesus, Who suffered just as we suffer, said in the garden, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.” (Mark 14:34)

We are told that Martin Luther suffered from bouts of depression. Winston Churchill referred to his depression as ‘The Black Dog.’ C.H. Spurgeon, the ‘Prince of Preachers’ who preached to thousands and is one of the most prolific Christian writers of all time, suffered from well-known bouts of depression.

C.H. Spurgeon on depression
The following by Charles Haddon Spurgeon is from the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, 1881, vol. 27, p. 1595:

I know that wise brethren say, ‘You should not give way to feelings of depression.’ … If those who blame quite so furiously could once know what depression is, they would think it cruel to scatter blame where comfort is needed. There are experiences of the children of God which are full of spiritual darkness; and I am almost persuaded that those of God’s servants who have been most highly favoured have, nevertheless, suffered more times of darkness than others.
The covenant is never known to Abraham so well as when a horror of great darkness comes over him, and then he sees the shining lamp moving between the pieces of the sacrifice. A greater than Abraham was early led of the Spirit into the wilderness, and yet again ere He closed His life He was sorrowful and very heavy in the garden.

No sin is necessarily connected with sorrow of heart, for Jesus Christ our Lord once said, ‘My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death.’ There was no sin in Him, and consequently none in His deep depression.

I would, therefore, try to cheer any brother who is sad, for his sadness is not necessarily blameworthy. If his downcast spirit arises from unbelief, let him flog himself, and cry to God to be delivered from it; but if the soul is sighing--‘though he slay me, yet will I trust in him’--its being slain is not a fault.

The way of sorrow is not the way of sin, but a hallowed road sanctified by the prayers of myriads of pilgrims now with God--pilgrims who, passing through the valley of Baca [lit: of weeping], made it a well, the rain also filled the pools: of such it is written: ‘They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God.’

Don’t pile guilt upon your heavy heart. Receive comfort, not condemnation.

SURVIVAL TIP: Think about how God feels.

God used Jonah’s depression to teach Jonah something about Himself. He used the situation to help Jonah see a bigger picture; to see beyond Jonah and his gourd.

It’s a small world
Jonah’s world had become about him and his gourd. When the gourd was dead, Jonah wanted to be dead. That’s the problem with having a very small world – it is very unstable and unsettling. I call it cosmic claustrophobia.

 Beware of cosmic claustrophobia.

Broaden your world and your outlook on things. Could God be teaching you a bigger lesson, maybe even about Him? Could God be preparing you? The short book of Jonah is all about God’s preparation. God prepared a great fish (Jonah 1:17). God prepared a plant (Jonah 4:6). God prepared a worm (Jonah 4:7). God prepared a vehement east wind (Jonah 4:8). All the time, God was preparing Jonah.

SURVIVAL TIP: Get around positive people.

Jonah made another great mistake: He isolated himself from everyone else. Scripture said he went out on a hill outside the city and made a little shelter for himself. Depression tends to cause you to isolate yourself from other people and other things, the very things that are needed to help you get out of depression.

Remember Proverbs 12:25:
Proverbs 12:25 (NKJV)
25 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.

Where is that ‘good word’ going to come from?

 Don’t isolate yourself from people.

 Don’t isolate yourself from prayer.

 Don’t isolate yourself from praise.

 Don’t isolate yourself from the bible.

You will be tempted to isolate yourself, but don’t do it. Don’t isolate yourself from the very things that you need at the time of your depression.

Bosses act of kindness prevents suicide
Tim Sanders is a leadership coach, author and former Chief Solutions Officer at Yahoo! He urges managers and supervisors to lead through loving. He often tells the story of a young manager named Steve, who was challenged by one of his radio interviews.

Steve resolved to visit each of his employees, all six of whom he had not seen face to face in over six months even though they worked in the same building and on the same floor. Steve wanted to tell each of them how much he appreciated them, and name one thing they did excellently.
After the visit from Steve, one of his software engineers, Lenny, presented him with an Xbox gaming console. Steve was taken aback, as he knew Lenny had taken pay cuts over the last year. But he was more surprised to learn that the money had come from the sale of a nine-millimeter pistol—a pistol Lenny had bought months earlier with the intention of killing himself. Lenny told him of his mother's death the previous year, and of his ensuing loneliness and depression:

I started a routine every night after work: eating a bowl of Ramen, listening to Nirvana, and getting the gun out. It took almost a month to get the courage to put the bullets in the gun. It took another couple of months to get used to the feeling of the barrel of the gun on the top of my teeth. For the last few weeks, I was putting ever so slight pressure on the trigger, and I was getting so close, Steve—so close.

Last week, you freaked me out. You came into my cubicle, put your arm around me, and told me you appreciated me because I turn in all my projects early, and that helps you sleep at night. You also said that I have a great sense of humor over e-mail and that you are glad I came into your life.

That night I went home, ate Ramen, and listened to Nirvana—and when I got the gun out, it scared me silly for the first time. All I could think about was what you said—that you were glad I came into your life.

The next day I went back to the pawnshop and sold the gun. I remembered that you had said you wanted the Xbox more than anything, but with a new baby at home could not afford it. So, for my life, you get this game. Thanks, boss.

"Sometimes people just need people," Sanders writes. "They need encouragement. You have no idea how lonely and sad some people might be. Love them everywhere—not just at home, but at work, or wherever you find them." (From an e-mail newsletter by Tim Sanders; submitted by Rich Tatum, Romeoville, Illinois)

You need people with a positive word in your life. You can be a person with a positive word for someone else’s life.

CONCLUSION
What is your worm?
It may be a whale of a problem that gets you down, or it may be some little worm that just gnaws on you and gnaws on you. Either way, don’t let them eat you.