An emotional sermon series
Over the last eight weeks or so, we have explored this rarely navigated area of who God created us to be – our emotions. We have talked about attitude, depression, joy, grief, anxiety and anger. Today we are concluding our series with another powerful emotion: Loneliness.
*** Skit: “Freight Train Peace” (part 1) ***
LONELY IN A CROWD
The women in the skit feared what many of us fear: being alone. For many others, this is not a fear, it is a reality.
This is not due to a shortage of people. You can find a ticking population clock on line that will tell you that, as of today, the world population is estimated to be 6,630,364,193. The United States population is 303,337,455. (4.5% of world population)
There’s plenty of people, and the population is growing all the time. You can watch the numbers tick up constantly on the internet. So, how are we doing?
Americans have less close friends
A study conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, released in June of 2006, revealed that Americans have less people they can confide in than past generations.
In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them. In 2004, that number dropped to two.
Perhaps even more striking, the number of Americans with no close friends rose from 10 percent in 1985 to 24.6 percent in 2004. [Janet Kornblum, "Study: 25 Percent of Americans Have No One to Confide In," USA Today (6-23-06)]
Even the Apostle Paul had his share of relationship woes.
2 Timothy 4:9-17 (NKJV)
9 Be diligent to come to me quickly;
Be diligent to come to me quickly
Paul begins by saying, “Timothy, I need you, Buddy. Don’t leave me all alone. I’m lonely without you.” Let’s continue reading:
2 Timothy 4:9-17 (NKJV)
9 Be diligent to come to me quickly; 10 for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica—Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia. 11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry. 12 And Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. 13 Bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas when you come—and the books, especially the parchments. 14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15 You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. 16 At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. 17 But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.
Within this passage of scripture, we deal with 9 people with whom Paul had some type of relationship. And this is only a partial list of a much greater list throughout the New Testament. Four of these deal with specific relationship issues, and we’ll deal with those four in just a few moments.
Let’s make a couple of important observations and applications from this passage.
SURVIVAL TIP: Develop relationships with people
(Add in there, “Develop comparable relationships”)
The Apostle Paul was a model of ministry though relationships. But he wasn’t the only one. Page after page, the Bible is filled with relationships.
From the very beginning, in the original design and construction of people, there was wired in a need for relationships
Genesis 2:18 (NKJV)
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
New King James: a helper comparable to him
New Living: a helper who is just right for him
New English Version: a suitable companion
New Int’l Version, New American Standard Bible: a helper suitable for him
- We are made for relationships.
Genesis 2:20 (NKJV)
20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
Here was the problem: There was man, there were the animals, and there were God. Man needed someone comparable to him for relationship. The animals were not comparable. And God was not comparable. Among the universe, he was a unique creation. He was all alone. He needed a pal.
… Someone who is like me… someone who understands me… a soulmate…This is true in our marriage relationship, but also applies to other friendships as well. We need companions. We need relationships with those who are comparable to us.
Which leads us to number two:
SURVIVAL TIP: Prepare for disappointment.
Here’s the deal: If you get into the relationship mode, you will experience disappointment. I guarantee it. It is inevitable.
- Demas: Forsaken.
Paul mentions Demas in other letters (Colossians 4:14 and Philemon 24). He refers to Demas as his co-laborer in the gospel. But not in this letter to Timothy. Paul served with Demas and figured that was a relationship that would stand the test of time. But at some point, Demas decided to go his own way – do his own thing – and they split paths. Demas left, “having loved this present world.” That generally means that he chose the good-life over the God-life. Paul didn’t see it coming. He couldn’t anticipate it.
Have you ever had a relationship that just went sideways like this? Not that you did anything to them or they did anything to you, you just went different ways. It can be hard to take. It happened to Paul. But he continued to build relationships.
- Luke: Faithful Few.
I feel bad for Luke here. Paul says, “No one is around. I’m all alone. Only Luke is with me.” Luke must’ve been thinking, “Hey, Paul, what am I, chopped liver?”
I had someone come into the church office when I was the only one there and say, “Where is everyone? Isn’t anyone here?” Well, I’m here and I’m somebody.
This last week I went to a pastor’s conference in southern California, and I was all alone. I flew down there alone, I stayed alone and I went to the sessions alone. Only Pastor Tom was with me.
Here’s the point. These faithful friends, like Luke (or Pastor Tom) are so valuable, but they are just too few. We need more of these faithful friends.
Who are your faithful friends? Who can you count on? confide in? be alone with? Do you have one? Good, but you need more. Don’t stop there.
- Mark: Forgiven.
The next person Paul mentions is Mark. He says, “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.” Luke is here. I want you here too, Timothy. And bring Mark with you. I want my three amigos with me.
Mark is mentioned in a number of other places in scripture. He was the cousin of Barnabbas. Peter called Mark “my son.” Mark was the writer of the Gospel of Mark, and most scholars think he did it using Peter’s eyewitness accounts. There are other interesting facts about Mark as well. He was well-connected.
But the most important fact for this conversation is this: This is the Mark, also known as John Mark, who went along with Paul and Barnabbas on their first missionary journey. Mark couldn’t hack it and, for some unknown reason, left the mission and went home. When Paul and Barnabbas were planning their second missionary journey, Barnabbas wanted to bring Mark along. Paul refused. Paul was so dead-set against Mark coming along that there was a sharp contention between Paul and Barnabbas and they split up. Paul went with Silas and Barnabbas went with Mark.
Mark had really disappointed Paul. But their relationship had been reconciled so that Paul said here, “Bring Mark with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.”
Some relationships will experience a falling out. One person may disappoint another. Those relationships can be reconciled. Not just put back to the position they were before the problem arose, but even better and stronger than before.
- Alexander: Foe.
There are some people that are going to give you problems. In this search for significant relationships, you will encounter enemies along the way. That’s okay. It is not a failure. It is going to happen. Don’t let this stop you from reaching out in relationship.
Paul said to Timothy, “This Alexander dude caused me a lot of trouble. He is against me and the Christianity that I preach.” Notice what he doesn’t say. He doesn’t say, “Go get him Timothy. You’re a young guy. Take him out. Slander him. Organize rallies against him. Write books against him.” His comments are so low key. He just says, “Watch out for him. Separate yourself from him. God will repay him. You don’t have to do that.”
Don’t waste your energy fighting your foes. Use your energy finding your friends.
There may be some people who have hurt you, like Demas. Bounce back. There may be a few people like Luke in your life, but too few. Appreciate them and find more. Maybe there are people with whom you need to reconcile, like Mark. Don’t wait. Do it today. There may be someone in your life like Alexander that has been a continual problem to you. Don’t waste your time with them. Just avoid them. Let God deal with them.
SURVIVAL TIP: Realize this: With Jesus you never stand alone.
Here is the most important survival tip of all. In verse 16 Paul says, “At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me.” Then he says in verse 17, “But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me.”
How do they do it without the Lord?
I know I tell you this all the time, but only because it happens all the time. One week ago I was standing by the hospital bed of a man in our congregation. He had been given a dreadful diagnosis. He had three weeks to live. They were going to have to begin some radical treatment.
I stood with him and prayed with him. We had a great visit. He had great peace and confidence in the Lord. Then he said to me, “I can’t imagine how people deal with these types of situations without the Lord. Without the Lord right by me, I don’t know how I would get through this.”
There is a tangible, real, priceless benefit when God stands by you and strengthens you.
*** Skit: “Freight Train Peace” (part 2) ***
- Jesus became comparable.
Remember how I said that in Adam’s relationship with God that He was not comparable? Well, God decided to change that, and so He became comparable in Jesus to have relationship with us.
Philippians 2:5-8 (NKJV)
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
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