EMOTIONS SURVIVAL MANUAL: In Case of Anger: Don't Strike Out

Slapping the face of God
There is an amazing story that unfolds in the gospel of John, chapter 18, starting at verse 19.

It was nighttime. Jesus had just been arrested in the garden of Gethsemane where his disciples drew their swords to defend Him and Jesus said, “Put your swords away.” The detachment of troops bound Him and led Him to the Sanhedrin Council Chamber adjacent to the Temple. Late in the night, the Sanhedrin was called together to question Jesus – called from their families, called from their beds, perhaps, called from their favorite TV show. They were putting in some overtime tonight, all because of Jesus.

The ring leader was Annas, the high priest. He had actually been removed from that position by Rome and replaced that year with Caiaphas, his son-in-law. But, in Jewish law, the high priest was a lifetime position, so they brought Jesus to Annas acknowledging their law, not Rome’s. Before taking Him to be crucified, they would also have to take Jesus to Caiaphas.

Annas, the high priest and the most revered figure in the Jewish hierarchy, took his place to question Jesus. Others from the Sanhedrin took their place and crowded around Jesus. The high priest began the questioning, asking Jesus to tell him about His disciples and His doctrine. As if it were all part of some kind of a secret plot.

Jesus knew right where this was all heading. He said in essence, “It is no secret. I’ve taught openly and plenty of people heard what I said. Ask any one of them, they can tell you whatever you want to know.”

When Jesus said that, one of the officers of the high priest who was standing next to Jesus pulled his arm back. He was angered by Jesus’ words. How dare He speak that way to the high priest! Who did He think He was?! He was probably angered by the growing problem that Jesus had been causing them by gaining the support of more and more people. He may have been angered by having to spend a late night at the office. There may have been other factors, too. We don’t know. But this many pulled his arm back to generate some needed force. His muscles tightened. His body weight shifted. His face was furrowed with disgust and rage. He opened his palm towards Jesus’ face and, holding nothing back, he released his arm forward until, with a sharp sting, his open palm connected with the face of Jesus.

Stop action, right there, for just a minute, and look at this scene. Consider its incredible impact. Here is a man slapping the face of God. A man slapping the face of God because of anger. Jesus was bound. He didn’t fight back.

Think about this slap:

It was the first strike. This was the first of much greater and escalating violence that would come. Jesus was about to be beaten by soldiers. He would be scourged to within an inch of His life. He would then face the cruelest violence known to man: crucifixion. This slap started the whole thing. Violence often leads to greater violence.

This man faced Jesus in eternity. Do you ever think about those who committed violence against Jesus, especially this man? Some time after this event he died. When he got to eternity, just think about his reaction when he saw that the One running the place was the guy that he slapped out of anger. Wouldn’t that be a bummer? I would hate to be that guy.

When you or I strike out against someone else in anger, we are slapping the face of God. Jesus said, “When you do it unto the least of these, my brethren, you do it unto me.” (Matthew 25:45) For every explosion of anger or strike against another person we will face, not that person, but Jesus Himself. You might as well see your hand on the face of Jesus when you lash out at someone else.

Righteous indignation?

But we do have one defense, right? Righteous indignation! Sometimes we are justified in our anger because it is righteous indignation.

I would caution you about using that defense. First of all, I think it is way overused. Secondly, it can be very deceiving. This man, whom we just read about, would have said that his anger was the result of righteous indignation. He would have said, “This guy has been causing trouble, saying bad things about the religious leaders and then had an air of superiority over the high priest. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I mean, who does this guy think he is, anyway? When I heard him talk to the high priest that way, righteous indignation rose up inside me. I was totally justified in my actions.”

Beware of self-justification through righteous indignation.

Anger at Easter
I remember the first Easter in our household after becoming the Senior Pastor of this church. It was many years ago. The first Easter that I was preaching the Easter message that Jesus rose from the tomb and gives grace to sinners for eternal life!

We had three services, as we have had since that time. One was on Saturday night and two on Sunday morning. My two girls were much littler then. My wife and two girls woke up on Sunday ready to celebrate Easter. They were excited and ready for our family traditions that we have done on that day. I, on the other hand, was focused. I was in Sunday morning pastor mode. I was thinking about my message on grace, thinking about those who would come to the service. I was in the zone… on a high spiritual plain. When the girls wanted to do fun family things that morning before church, distracting me from prayer and study, I felt ‘righteous indignation’ rise up in me. Didn’t they know who I am? Didn’t they understand the spiritual responsibility I had?

And I blew up. A pastor of a church, on Easter morning, yelling at his poor kids. What a heart warming scene!

At that time we had a friend of the family living with us in a room upstairs. He heard the commotion from upstairs and figured the noise was us having a good time, celebrating the blessed day. He didn’t want to miss the party, so he came hurrying down the stairs. When he figured out it wasn’t a party, but me yelling at everyone, he quickly stopped his motion down the stairs and hid in his room.

I was wrong. It was stupid. But I sure felt justified at the time. I apologized to the family and we have never had that problem since.

KEEPING ANGER ABOVE ‘C’ LEVEL

We all deal with anger at one time or another. So, what does the bible say and what practical applications can we make to deal with anger?

There are three levels of dealing with anger that I want to talk about today. They are sequential, meaning they progress from one level of anger to the next. They all start with the letter ‘C’: Containment, Control and Change. The first step of dealing with anger is containment. The next step is control. The final step is change. Keep your anger above ‘C’ level.

Let’s use two great passages about anger. First, from Jesus and then from the Apostle Paul speaking to the Ephesian church.

Matthew 5:21-26 (NKJV)
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26 Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.

Now from the Apostle Paul:

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NKJV)
26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil.

CONTAINMENT
The first step is containment: do whatever it takes to make sure that no one gets hurt by your anger. This requires taking personal responsibility. Not “I didn’t mean to,” or “I felt justified,” or “I was having a bad day.”

SURVIVAL TIP: Take responsibility for your anger.

Jesus said, “If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

You go and take responsibility. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t wait for him to come to you. Take responsibility and do something about it.

 It’s not okay to hurt someone.

This is especially true if you have, and you know you have, an anger problem. You have a greater responsibility than anyone for containment.

Restrain the ox
In Exodus 21:28-36, God is giving the people specific direction for the laws by which they are to live. It says if an ox gores a person to death, then the ox should be killed, but its owner is not responsible. Then it says if the ox had gored before and the owner was warned that it was a gorer but the owner didn’t restrain the ox (containment), then the owner is totally responsible and should receive the death penalty. A big difference!

A tendency for anger is not an excuse. It is a greater duty to contain that anger.

Containment: a sturdy fence

Change this ox to a present-day pit bull. Think of anger as a pit bull. If that pit bull has been violent in the past and maybe even bitten someone, you have got to keep that pit bull behind a sturdy fence. You’ve got to make sure that it is contained. It’s not someone else’s responsibility. It is yours.

You can’t go places where you will be prone to anger. You can’t take part in activities that can aggravate your anger. You can’t be around people that make you angry. You can’t let yourself be in situations that will inflame your anger. You may need to take special anger management classes. Containing your anger is your responsibility.

CONTROL
Control: a good leash

The second level is control. Let’s say that pit bull of anger has been tamed a great deal. It no longer demonstrates the violence that it once did. You can now go out in public. But that dog will need to be controlled. You still need a good leash.

How do you put anger on a leash and exercise control? Here are three survival tips:

SURVIVAL TIP: Catch it early.

Jesus said, “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him.” Ephesians says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” One of the greatest bits of advice for dealing with anger is: catch it right away. Don’t let it spiral out of control.

Advice for newlyweds
Have you ever seen a video camera at a wedding catching people at the reception and asking them to give advice to the new bride and groom? If you have, you have heard people say, “Here’s the best advice I can give you: Never go to bed angry.” That is the most used piece of marital advice I have ever heard. And, it is good advice. It is taken from Ephesians 4:26. It is not only good advice for newlyweds. It’s good advice for us.

SURVIVAL TIP: Watch your mouth.

Thomas Jefferson once wrote some rules for living. “When angry count to ten before you speak, if very angry, count to a hundred.” Seventy-five years later, Mark Twain, the author, picking up on that same theme said, “When angry, count to four, if very angry, swear!” I wouldn’t take that last bit of advice.

Jesus said, “If you say, ‘Raca!’: and “… whoever says, ‘You fool!’” In times of anger, your mouth will get you into more trouble than anything else.

You may have noticed the word ‘Raca!’ in verse 22. It was a term of utter contempt in the Jewish culture. The word itself comes from the sound that is made when someone is clearing their throat, working up phlegm and preparing to spit on someone. It was a virtual loogie.

Put your mouth on a strong leash when you are angry. Watch what you say and how you say it.

SURVIVAL TIP: Make it right.

Matthew 5:24 says, “First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Do whatever it takes to reconcile with someone that you have wronged. Instead of being the aggressor, be the confessor.

 Turn ‘worked up’ into worship.

 Turn turmoil into testimony.

This brings honor to the Lord.

CHANGE
The last level is change.

Remember the picture of anger as a pit bull? If containment is a sturdy fence to prevent anyone from getting hurt, and control is a good leash that allows you to go out in public and manage anger, then change is a trip to the pet store.

This is when I say, “I don’t even want to own something dangerous anymore that needs to be contained or constantly controlled. I want to change.” It is trading in that pit bull for a calm and docile Labrador retriever, or a harmless lap dog.

Only Jesus can make that change for you. I left this area on your outline wide open; because what He can do to change you is also wide open. He can transform you from the inside-out. Only He can do it. He can transform anger into gentleness.

A changed life
One of the couples in our host home was sharing one night about how their lives had changed since giving their lives to Jesus. Neither one of them were Christians when they got married. Both have become Christians since then. She said the first indication she had that Jesus was real in her husband’s life is that his anger was gone. He noticed it too. He just didn’t couldn’t get angry like he could before. Jesus had changed him from the inside.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV)
31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Do you see the exchange there? Exchange bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking and malice for: kindness; a tender heart; and forgiveness… even as God in Christ forgave you.

CONCLUSION
Here is the best news of all, and I’ve saved it for last: God is not mad at you. Sin is a slap in the face to God. Hurting others is a slap in the face to God. Just like the officer in John 18, you have slapped Jesus in the face. But, you know what? He is not mad at you. He is forgiving toward you. His forgiveness has cancelled His anger toward you and can cancel your anger toward others.

Today we celebrate communion together. Communion is a testimony to that very fact, that God is not mad at you.