Introduction
I want to talk about trust today. Some people really struggle with trust issues.
Old Faithful
Our family was driving on a cross-country trip a number of years ago. Our travels took us by the Grand Tetons, through Yellowstone National Park. I had never seen Old Faithful, so even though it was getting a little late and we had a ways to go until getting to our hotel that evening, I was excited to watch the Old Faithful geyser erupt.
So we parked the car, followed the signs and walked over to an area of benches looking out onto a pretty unimpressive landscape. There was just some rough terrain and what appeared to be the geyser. So we sat down and just waited for a while. It didn’t take long until my wife got a little anxious. She wanted to get to the hotel before it got too late, so she said, “Let’s just go.” “No” I answered, “I want to see it erupt.” Then she said, “What if it doesn’t erupt?” At which point I looked at her and said, “It’s ‘Old Faithful’. Of course it’s going to erupt!” Of course, after waiting just a little while longer Old Faithful did what you can trust it to do, it erupted.
If you can’t trust Old Faithful, who can you trust?
Relationships are defined by trust.
Relationships are ultimately defined not by quality time, or by quantity time, but by the quality of trust. The greater the trust the deeper the relationship.
Trust is not automatic.
We are not told to show unconditional trust toward other people. Do a study of the ‘one anothers’ of scripture. We are told to love one another, submit to one another, be kind one to another, pray for one anther, encourage one another, forgive one another, etc. without regard to the other person. Love them no matter what. Be kind to them no matter what. But, we are never told to ‘trust one another’. It is not unconditional and it is not automatic.
Here’s another way to look at it. We refer to someone as ‘trustworthy’, but we don’t say that someone is ‘loveworthy’. We don’t say that someone is ‘prayerworthy’. We don’t say that someone is ‘kindworthy’.
Since trust is not automatic, it means that it can be earned, lost, preserved and restored.
· trust can be earned
Show me that I can trust you.
· trust can be lost
It can be a single act of betrayal or many, many small things that lead to the lost of trust. A house can be demolished with a bulldozer or can be destroyed from years of neglect.
· trust can be guarded
It is easier to guard and preserve what you have rather than try to regain it after it’s lost. I am convinced that many people don’t understand how valuable trust is, or else they would guard it much more carefully.
· trust can be restored
This is the good news. It is hard work and takes a strong commitment, but it can be restored again.
Be trusting. Be trustworthy.
Being part of community, like the Body of Christ, requires relationship. Deep relationship depends entirely upon trust. And trust is not automatic. We have a two-fold goal then: Be trusting, and Be trustworthy.
EARNING TRUST
In writing to the Corinthians, Paul appeals to them to trust him.
2 Corinthians 7:2-7 (NKJV) 2 Open your hearts to us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have cheated no one. 3 I do not say this to condemn; for I have said before that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. 4 Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort. I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation. 5 For indeed, when we came to Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were troubled on every side. Outside were conflicts, inside were fears. 6 Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming, but also by the consolation with which he was comforted in you, when he told us of your earnest desire, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more.
“Open your hearts to us” means literally, ‘let us in.’
1. Don’t demand it.
If anyone could have demanded trust, it was the Paul. He was recognized as the Apostle to the Gentiles. He had seen the risen Lord. He was trained as an orthodox rabbi. And, on top of all of that, the Corinthian church owed him their very existence. The church began as a result of Paul’s first missionary journey into the region.
But Paul does not demand their trust, he appeals to them. He asks them to ‘open their hearts to him’, literally: make a place, make room for us.
Here’s the thing about trust: the more you demand it the more you lose it.
“Trust me…”
I was in a conversation with a construction contractor because I had been having repeated problems and unfulfilled promises with his crew. I began to notice that he continually used the phrase ‘trust me.’ “Trust me, I want these things corrected.” “Trust me, I don’t like this either.” “Trust me, that is not how I do business.” The problem was I didn’t trust him and every time he said, “Trust me” I trusted him even less.
If you have to demand trust you won’t get it, and you probably don’t deserve it.
2. Give it time.
Paul was very patient in building trust with the Corinthians and in waiting for their response. Here’s what happened:
The patience of Paul
Paul ministered in Corinth during his second missionary journey and establishes the church there. After a while, things in the church got a little out of control so Apollos, a strong leader and teacher, goes from Ephesus to Corinth. The problems were so bad that Apollos came back to Ephesus. Paul tried to get him to go back to Corinth later, but Apollos refused. Then members of the church there came to tell Paul that things had gotten even worse. (I heard of a well-known pastor recently preaching a series through the book of Corinthians and he called the series, “Christians Gone Wild.”)
So Paul writes some pretty strong words to the church there and sends Titus to see how they will respond to his writing. Then he waits. Paul eventually gets run out of Ephesus so he goes to Troas, making the long trip towards Corinth. He says that in Troas he had a great opportunity for ministry but had no rest in his spirit because he Titus wasn’t there to tell him how the Corinthians were doing. (2 Cor. 2:12-13) So he left there on his way to Corinth and met up with Titus in Macedonia. There he hears good news: they had received his correction and were responding favorably. It was worth the wait.
The patience of Gamaliel
I marveled this last week in our Life Journal readings about the patience of Gamaliel. Gamaliel was one of those Jewish leaders in Acts 5, trying to decide what to do with the apostles and their new teachings. He said they didn’t have to do anything. If it wasn’t real it would fizzle and die over time. If it really was of God, time would bear that out.
In order to trust you I need to see your character. Character is shown over time.
3. Let your actions do the talking.
Don’t tell me I can trust you. Show me. Paul let his actions do the talking.
· “We have wronged no one”
This means that we did harm to no one. Literally, “we were unjust to no one.” We can harm people unjustly in a number of ways: gossip harms their reputation; insensitivity harms their emotions; causing division harms community; anger harms peace; and violence harms the body.
· “We have corrupted no one”
Paul was also able to say that no one was led astray by his bad example. Paul was authentic. He lived out his faith. He practiced what he preached. How is your example?
· “We have cheated no one”
In other words, “We never once benefited from someone else’s loss. We never took advantage of anyone else.” … We never sold a car that we knew had defects… We never kept more money then we were due on our income taxes… We never called in sick when we weren’t really sick… We never lied or stole.
Can you make this statement, “I have wronged no one; I have corrupted no one; I have cheated no one”? What if Paul could not make this statement? Then he had no business asking them to trust him. The same is true of you. It begins with forgiveness.
Forgiveness and trust
Did you know that you can forgive someone without trusting them? Remember: forgiveness is required, trust is not.
Let’s say that you come to see me in my office. I have to excuse myself for a minute, I come back and we say our goodbyes. Later I notice that a ten dollar bill is missing from my desk. I mention it to you and you confess that you took it. You feel very bad; ask for my forgiveness and I forgive you immediately.
The next time you’re in my office I step out to get you a glass of water. Later I notice again that another ten dollars is missing. When I confront you again you admit that you really needed the money but you know it was wrong. You ask for my forgiveness and I forgive you. The next time you are in my office I am not going to leave you alone with any valuables. Forgiveness is given immediately. Trust must be earned back.
4. Be vulnerable.
Trust involves risk and vulnerability. It is unavoidable. When someone trusts you they let you get closer and give you the chance to hurt them.
Captain Kirk always did this cool thing when he wanted to get another ship to trust him. He would lower his shields. With the shields lowered they were more vulnerable, but the other ship knew they could be trusted.
If you want someone to trust you, you have to trust them first. You be vulnerable first. In chapter 6, before Paul asked the Corinthians to open their hearts to him, he said this:
2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (NKJV) 11 O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. 12 You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. 13 Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open.
If you want someone to open up to you, open up to them first.
The essence of trust
The essence of trust is this: I will receive harm myself rather than let it come to you.
Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor, Navy Seal
There were four men, elite Navy Seals, providing security along with Iraqi forces in Ramadi, Iraq, west of Baghdad. The rooftop position had only one doorway. That’s where Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor stood while the other four were inside the shelter. A hand grenade was launched by insurgent forces and hit Petty Officer Monsoor in the chest. It bounced inside the hideout and landed on the floor. The others in the bunker said that Monsoor never took his eyes off the grenade. His only movement was directly to the floor and on top of the live grenade. He gave his life and the others were saved.
He was standing by the door. He was standing by the door! Do you get it? When that grenade bounced in he was the only one with a real shot at making it out. He could have ducked and run. He took harm rather than having harm come to others. Is that someone that you could trust?
Standing by the door
Some of you are standing by the door today. You are standing by the door of your marriage and it’s not looking good. There is a ticking bomb ready to explode. What are you going to do? Are you in or are you out? Is it self-preservation or self-sacrifice for you? This is where trust has its day. What will it be?
Some of you are standing by the door of this church. You don’t want to venture in too much or let others get too close because you may get hurt. You’re watching for any sign of danger so you can be ready to bolt. What is it for you? Are you in or are you out?
Maybe someone here today is standing at the door with the Lord. His love for you has hit you on the heart and so now what do you do? Are you in? You have to die to yourself, you know. Make a move.
5. Trust God first.
I said that we were not told to trust anyone else unconditionally. Well, that’s not entirely true. There is One who we can trust unconditionally.
Proverbs 3:5 (NKJV) 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
God is ultimately trustworthy. When we were in danger from sin and death, God came to earth, in the form of a man, Jesus, to throw Himself on our grenade. You and I were huddled in a cramped enclosure when sin lobbed a grenade called death into our hideout. Without giving it a second thought, Jesus through Himself, through His crucifixion, onto death so that we could live. Now, is He worthy of our trust?? Yes!
The key for all other trust relationships
Trusting God becomes the key for all other trust relationships. Especially once you have been hurt, it is hard to trust.
She looked me right in the eye and asked me, “But if I let him earn back trust and restore trust over time, how do I know that I won’t get hurt again? Do I have any guarantee?”
I cannot offer you a guarantee that if you open up to trusting others they will not hurt you. I can’t do that. But I can guarantee you this: You can trust God.
The question is: Can you trust God that no matter how bad you’re hurt He can heal; He can comfort; He can restore and He will even use it for your good? I can trust others when I put my trust in God first.
Conclusion
Are you trusting? Are you trustworthy?
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Judging Others
Judging Others
A drunken man got on the bus late one night, staggered up the aisle, and sat next to a woman who was clutching a Bible. She looked the wayward drunk up and down and said, "I've got news for you, mister. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumped up out of his seat and shouted, "Oh, man, I'm on the wrong bus again!"
Seven parables of the kingdom
In Matthew 13, Jesus shares seven parables of the Kingdom of Heaven. (The phrase ‘Kingdom of Heaven’ used eight times in this chapter, more than any other chapter in scripture. Parables: Sower, Wheat and Tares, Mustard Seed, Leaven, Hidden Treasure, Pearl of Great Price, and Dragnet.)
The word ‘parable’ means literally, “to cast or place alongside” or “to compare.” When Dalene and I were at the coast recently we came across an unusually large jellyfish washed up on the sand. I had my camera with me so I was able to get a picture of it. But I realized that with a picture of the jellyfish by itself there is no way to get an accurate perspective of its size. So I had Dalene put her foot in the picture next to the jellyfish. Then you can tell how big it is.
A parable is a illustrative story laid beside another truth to give greater perspective. Jesus gives seven different parables here, each one given a different perspective on the kingdom of heaven. Some of these parables support and complement one another. Others show an entirely different characteristic of the Kingdom of Heaven.
Let me say one other thing before we go on. There are a lot of people that have some insightful, revealing or amazing thing to say about the Kingdom of Heaven, but there is no one who knows this topic like Jesus. What He has to say isn’t, like all the rest, speculation or interpretation. It’s the real deal.
A REAL DILEMMA
The parable we will be looking at is the Parable of the Wheat and the Tares.
Matthew 13:24-30 (NKJV) 24 Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; 25 but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. 26 But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. 27 So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ 28 He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ 29 But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.” ’ ”
Matthew 13:36-43 (NKJV) 36 Then Jesus sent the multitude away and went into the house. And His disciples came to Him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the tares of the field.” 37 He answered and said to them: [cast and credits] “He who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, the good seeds are the sons of the kingdom, but the tares are the sons of the wicked one. 39 The enemy who sowed them is the devil, the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are the angels. 40 Therefore as the tares are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of this age. 41 The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and those who practice lawlessness, 42 and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!
Tares
A tare, as used in this story, is what is know as the bearded darnel. It is plentiful in the region of Israel and current-day Palestine. In its earliest stages it looks identical to wheat, until time for the head to form and fruit to be shown. Only then can it be distinguished. Not only is it unfruitful, but it is actually poisonous. If parts of the darnel make it into the harvest it can cause serious illness. The servants were understandably concerned.
1. REMEMBER: It’s not your field.
The servants in the story notice something that seems to almost shock them at some point, “Hey! There are tares in this wheat field! How did that happen?!” Didn’t you only plant good seed? How did these evil things appear?
That question in the real world goes something like this, “How did evil get in the world? God, did you put it there?” Does that sound familiar?
Notice the answer: An enemy did this. There was only good seed planted in this world but an enemy brought the evil. When did he do it? While men slept (v.25). So the field was established and planted with nothing but good seed. The care and protection of this wonderful field was then given over to the care of men who were careless and allowed an enemy to bring all the evil. Again, sound familiar?
No matter how bad you think things are in the field, it’s not your field. The servants wisely went back to the owner, because the field didn’t belong to them. They had a real dilemma on their hands.
A drunken man got on the bus late one night, staggered up the aisle, and sat next to a woman who was clutching a Bible. She looked the wayward drunk up and down and said, "I've got news for you, mister. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumped up out of his seat and shouted, "Oh, man, I'm on the wrong bus again!"
Seven parables of the kingdom
In Matthew 13, Jesus shares seven parables of the Kingdom of Heaven. (The phrase ‘Kingdom of Heaven’ used eight times in this chapter, more than any other chapter in scripture. Parables: Sower, Wheat and Tares, Mustard Seed, Leaven, Hidden Treasure, Pearl of Great Price, and Dragnet.)
The word ‘parable’ means literally, “to cast or place alongside” or “to compare.” When Dalene and I were at the coast recently we came across an unusually large jellyfish washed up on the sand. I had my camera with me so I was able to get a picture of it. But I realized that with a picture of the jellyfish by itself there is no way to get an accurate perspective of its size. So I had Dalene put her foot in the picture next to the jellyfish. Then you can tell how big it is.
A parable is a illustrative story laid beside another truth to give greater perspective. Jesus gives seven different parables here, each one given a different perspective on the kingdom of heaven. Some of these parables support and complement one another. Others show an entirely different characteristic of the Kingdom of Heaven.
Let me say one other thing before we go on. There are a lot of people that have some insightful, revealing or amazing thing to say about the Kingdom of Heaven, but there is no one who knows this topic like Jesus. What He has to say isn’t, like all the rest, speculation or interpretation. It’s the real deal.
A REAL DILEMMA
The parable we will be looking at is the Parable of the Wheat and the Tares.
Matthew 13:24-30 (NKJV) 24 Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; 25 but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. 26 But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. 27 So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ 28 He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ 29 But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.” ’ ”
Matthew 13:36-43 (NKJV) 36 Then Jesus sent the multitude away and went into the house. And His disciples came to Him, saying, “Explain to us the parable of the tares of the field.” 37 He answered and said to them: [cast and credits] “He who sows the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, the good seeds are the sons of the kingdom, but the tares are the sons of the wicked one. 39 The enemy who sowed them is the devil, the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are the angels. 40 Therefore as the tares are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of this age. 41 The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and those who practice lawlessness, 42 and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!
Tares
A tare, as used in this story, is what is know as the bearded darnel. It is plentiful in the region of Israel and current-day Palestine. In its earliest stages it looks identical to wheat, until time for the head to form and fruit to be shown. Only then can it be distinguished. Not only is it unfruitful, but it is actually poisonous. If parts of the darnel make it into the harvest it can cause serious illness. The servants were understandably concerned.
1. REMEMBER: It’s not your field.
The servants in the story notice something that seems to almost shock them at some point, “Hey! There are tares in this wheat field! How did that happen?!” Didn’t you only plant good seed? How did these evil things appear?
That question in the real world goes something like this, “How did evil get in the world? God, did you put it there?” Does that sound familiar?
Notice the answer: An enemy did this. There was only good seed planted in this world but an enemy brought the evil. When did he do it? While men slept (v.25). So the field was established and planted with nothing but good seed. The care and protection of this wonderful field was then given over to the care of men who were careless and allowed an enemy to bring all the evil. Again, sound familiar?
No matter how bad you think things are in the field, it’s not your field. The servants wisely went back to the owner, because the field didn’t belong to them. They had a real dilemma on their hands.
- They don’t belong to you.
Romans 14:4 (NKJV) 4 Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.
James 4:11-12 (NKJV) 11 Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?
- You don’t belong to you.
You don’t even have the right to judge yourself, because you belong to God.
1 Corinthians 4:3-4 (NKJV) 3 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord.
- It’s not time.
Not only that but, this is key, it isn’t time for judgment yet. A time will come, but not now.
1 Corinthians 4:5 (NKJV) 5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.
2. RESTRAIN. You’ll do more harm than good.
The servants recognize the seriousness of the situation and they have a good solution, it is a logical solution, “Let’s go into the field and judge between the tares and the wheat and just rip them up right now.
Good intentions gone bad
These are good servants. They want to help. They want to do something about the problem that they are noticing in the field. They are zealous for a pure field of wheat. But notice what the Master, the Son of Man, tells his servants, “No.” (‘No’ in the Greek means ‘no’ by the way.) Don’t do it. Don’t lay your hand on a single tare. That is not the assignment I have for you. I know you want to help, but you will hurt the situation.
First of all, you damage my wheat, which is so precious to me. I am not willing that one single wheat plant be pulled up. While pulling up tares you may accidentally uproot some wheat nearby, or you may even misidentify the two and pull up wheat thinking it is a tare. Judging like will have destructive consequences.
- Don’t develop a critical spirit.
Not only that but it will develop in you a critical spirit. I don’t want you going through my wheat field (which is the world) always looking at people with a critical eye, “Are you a wheat or are you a tare? I’m not sure but I think you’re a tare. Just to make sure I better pluck you up.” If you’re not plucking up the tares you don’t even have to worry about it.
3. RELAX. Trust God’s judgment.
Then the Master tells the servants, “I’ll take care of it when the time is right. There will be a judgment. Not a single tare will make it into the wheat harvest, I can guarantee that.” Do you trust in His final judgment?
Abraham said, “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Gen. 18:25) Yes!
I think people that are highly judgmental and accusatory don’t really trust God’s judgment. They are either afraid that God won’t catch someone or that He is taking to long. Either way is an indictment on God’s judgment.
In Deuteronomy 32:25, Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30 we are told, “‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Hebrews 10 adds, “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a living God.”
- Care for the tares.
Jesus said to love your enemies. Real servants care for the tares.
A real life example
I was driving home from Portland this last week, listening to the developments in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. As all of you know, ten young Amish girls, ranging in age from 6 to 13, were taken hostage and shot by a 32 year old milk truck driver. Five of the girls died, one is not expected to live, and four are hospitalized.
There is a group from Topeka, Kansas known as the Westboro Baptist Church (though they are not a part of any known Baptist affiliation). There are about 70 members of this wild cult who believe that they alone are ‘wheat’ and everyone else is a ‘tare’. They are ripping people up by the roots. For years now they have been protesting at funeral sites – Aids victims, soldiers killed in Iraq, even Mr. Rogers – and have held vulgar signs of hate. This group was planning to protest with very personal and hurtful accusations against the young girls that were killed and their community, claiming God gave them what they deserve. These are 'tare-pullers'.
A radio talk show host heard of this and offered a deal: one hour of air time in exchange for leaving these funerals alone. They agreed to spread their hate on the radio.
Now, let me bring the sharp contrast.
In the meantime, without fanfare or publicity, the Amish community has been quietly dealing with the loss in the only way they know how. They have forgiven the gunman and his family, who live in that area. They have communicated complete forgiveness and even compassion to the man’s widow and children. They family was invited to attend the funerals. The Amish community has begun collecting from their community financial support for the families of the girls and for the family of the gunman!
4. REFOCUS. Be the wheat!
What if we stop looking with critical and judgmental eyes at others and leave them up to God? Your job isn’t as judge, you are to be the wheat. You grow. You bear fruit, don’t worry about the ones on the right of you or on the left of you. Be a son or daughter of the kingdom.
Do you have a critical spirit? Is there an individual or a group of people that you have judged? What is God saying to you through this parable?
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Competition
Competition
We are beginning a new series of messages today entitled, “Can’t We All Just Get Along?” In many ways, this seems to be easier said than done.
We are not alone
Think about the journey that God has put us on. We begin at birth, pass through life on this earth and end up at death. In and of itself, that wouldn’t really be that difficult. But then He says, “Oh, one other thing. I’m going to throw a bunch of other people into the mix. You’ll have to get around them.” That adds an incredible degree of difficulty to the task. It changes everything drastically. In good and bad ways.
I wouldn’t do hurtful or selfish things if there were no other people around. I wouldn’t lie if there were no one to lie to. I wouldn’t steal if there were no one to steal from. I wouldn’t lust, I wouldn’t kill, I wouldn’t envy, I wouldn’t be jealous, I wouldn’t argue. Like Adam said, “The woman, who You gave me…” Things would be a whole lot easier without all these other people on the planet.
But, of course, that’s the deal. We do have to navigate our way through life with a whole bunch of other people navigating their way through life. Getting along with others is what it is all about. You cannot fulfill the commandments of God without dealing with other people in the process.
A walk through the church
During the week, I have occasion to walk around in this church all the time. I can get from the Children’s Wing to my office in about a minute, no sweat. But between services on a Sunday morning, that same walk can take me a half an hour. Sometimes going five feet can take me a half an hour. Because people have been added to the mix. It changes everything. And, you know what? I enjoy the walk much more on Sundays than during the week.
THREE PART PLAN FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Your spiritual life must consider other people into the mix. That adds challenge and it also adds joy. Consider this three part plan for spiritual growth:
· Weekend Service.
Consistently attend a weekend service and stay connected to the larger group. Stay in step with where we’re going.
· Small Group.
Find a place, or places, that fit for you. We have small groups that involve interacting with Sunday’s message, going deeper in a particular topic of interest, serving in the church or outside the church, or enjoying a common interest. You can even start your own small group.
· Life Journal.
You also need time alone with God throughout your week. The Life Journal is a great way for you to do that.
KEEPING SCORE
Today we are going to talk about COMPETITION, and how it affects relationships along our journey. I love the scripture reading for today because it reminds us that disciples of Jesus are real people, just like us.
Mark 9:33-35 (NKJV) 33 Then He came to Capernaum. And when He was in the house He asked them, “What was it you disputed among yourselves on the road?” 34 But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest. 35 And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”
I think this is very interesting and would have loved to have been there to listen in on the disciples’ conversation. Because I have been a part of these same types of conversations many, many times. These were guys talking about how great they think they are.
Peter might have made his case: “I’m the one who spoke up and said, ‘You are the Christ.’ Remember, Jesus said I heard directly from God.” Then the other disciples may have said, “Yeah, and then He said to you, ‘Get behind Me, Satan!’
James and John may have said, “What about His great nickname for us: Sons of Thurnder.” And they others said, “Come on, you know that’s because your dad is a loudmouth!”
Matthew made his case next: “I’m the one who left a high-paying job to follow Jesus. I’ll be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” But then he would hear, “It may have been high-paying, but you were a hated tax collector. It couldn’t be you.”
One by one the cases would have been made and then shot down. Do you know who would have probably had the strongest case of all? It was the one who could say, “He lets me carry the money bag and take care of all the finances. Obviously He trusts me the most.” It was Judas Iscariot who could have brought the strongest case.
What’s your case? Do you have reason to believe that you’re just a little more spiritual than someone else? Do you have any sense of spiritual pride or arrogance? Remember Judas.
Women are competitive too
And let’s get something straight. You women may sit there thinking, “Yes. Men are so competitive. Why are they like that?” Women are just as competitive, or even more. Maybe not when it comes to achievement or accomplishment, but women are often more competitive than men when it comes to relationships. You can’t kid me.
So, what’s wrong with competition?
1. Competition threatens community.
Notice that, when Jesus asked them what they were disputing about on the road, it says, “But they all kept silent.” Why? Because they knew it wasn’t a good, healthy conversation. Where were all the claims of greatness now?
They were hoping that He hadn’t noticed; that He didn’t know it was going on. But He did. If you think that He doesn’t notice the disputes and divisions that you are having with other people, you’re wrong too. He knows.
· Competition is defined by opposition.
Without opposition, there is no competition.
· Community is defined by cooperation.
Community, on the other hand, is defined by cooperation. It is different people, doing their best at what they do, not to oppose someone else but to cooperate with them.
2. Competition is contagious.
It spreads like a disease. When introduced into a body where there should be cooperation, competition can quickly shut things down.
What’s going on?
Competition is a sure sign of insecurity. When we are insecure about ourselves we have to prove that we are better than someone else.
What had happened just before this incident in scripture was this: A man brought his sick son to the disciples and they could not heal him. They tried. They should have been able to, but they couldn’t. Jesus came onto the scene, found that they had failed and He healed the sick boy.
Have you ever noticed how your own insecurities fuel your need to be better than someone else? Then you have to show yourself and others that you are? That is destructive competition at work. When you see it in yourself you can stop it.
· There is no place for competition in the church.
The Church is a Body. Competition has no place within a church or among churches.
You or I have no position of privilege over anyone else.
Galatians 2:6 (NKJV) 6 But from those who seemed to be something—whatever they were, it makes no difference to me; God shows personal favoritism to no man—for those who seemed to be something added nothing to me.
And we are not to show no privilege to anyone else.
James 2:9 (NKJV) 9 but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.
· There is no place for competition in marriage.
Scripture says that in marriage husband and wife are ‘one flesh’. One of the most common problems within marriage is competition. It eats it alive.
How is there competition within a marriage? It’s when we begin to keep score. “I do more in this marriage than you do.” “I contribute more to this marriage than she does.” “I sacrifice more in this marriage than he does.” “I suffer more…” “I deserve better…” This is how competition sneaks into marriage to destroy it. Don’t let it happen.
Marriage is not 50/50
One of the most destructive myths ever is that ‘Marriage is 50/50’, because it’s not. If anyone ever told you that, they lied. If marriage is 50/50, than it causes us to keep score. “I think I’m at 76 and he’s only at 24.” Stop keeping score.
Marriage is 100% no matter what. That’s what real marriage is.
3. Competition has a cure.
Jesus knew the disciple’s problem and He also knew their solution. If you are struggling with competitiveness in relationships with others, His words are for you today.
· The cure to competition is serving.
The solution is to serve. How different would my life be if I could stop trying to come out on top and start serving others? It would be huge! How much less anxiety would I have if I stop worrying about who is dressed prettier than me, or who is making more money than me and just serve people. There is real freedom and health for your relationships.
We are beginning a new series of messages today entitled, “Can’t We All Just Get Along?” In many ways, this seems to be easier said than done.
We are not alone
Think about the journey that God has put us on. We begin at birth, pass through life on this earth and end up at death. In and of itself, that wouldn’t really be that difficult. But then He says, “Oh, one other thing. I’m going to throw a bunch of other people into the mix. You’ll have to get around them.” That adds an incredible degree of difficulty to the task. It changes everything drastically. In good and bad ways.
I wouldn’t do hurtful or selfish things if there were no other people around. I wouldn’t lie if there were no one to lie to. I wouldn’t steal if there were no one to steal from. I wouldn’t lust, I wouldn’t kill, I wouldn’t envy, I wouldn’t be jealous, I wouldn’t argue. Like Adam said, “The woman, who You gave me…” Things would be a whole lot easier without all these other people on the planet.
But, of course, that’s the deal. We do have to navigate our way through life with a whole bunch of other people navigating their way through life. Getting along with others is what it is all about. You cannot fulfill the commandments of God without dealing with other people in the process.
A walk through the church
During the week, I have occasion to walk around in this church all the time. I can get from the Children’s Wing to my office in about a minute, no sweat. But between services on a Sunday morning, that same walk can take me a half an hour. Sometimes going five feet can take me a half an hour. Because people have been added to the mix. It changes everything. And, you know what? I enjoy the walk much more on Sundays than during the week.
THREE PART PLAN FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Your spiritual life must consider other people into the mix. That adds challenge and it also adds joy. Consider this three part plan for spiritual growth:
· Weekend Service.
Consistently attend a weekend service and stay connected to the larger group. Stay in step with where we’re going.
· Small Group.
Find a place, or places, that fit for you. We have small groups that involve interacting with Sunday’s message, going deeper in a particular topic of interest, serving in the church or outside the church, or enjoying a common interest. You can even start your own small group.
· Life Journal.
You also need time alone with God throughout your week. The Life Journal is a great way for you to do that.
KEEPING SCORE
Today we are going to talk about COMPETITION, and how it affects relationships along our journey. I love the scripture reading for today because it reminds us that disciples of Jesus are real people, just like us.
Mark 9:33-35 (NKJV) 33 Then He came to Capernaum. And when He was in the house He asked them, “What was it you disputed among yourselves on the road?” 34 But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest. 35 And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, “If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”
I think this is very interesting and would have loved to have been there to listen in on the disciples’ conversation. Because I have been a part of these same types of conversations many, many times. These were guys talking about how great they think they are.
Peter might have made his case: “I’m the one who spoke up and said, ‘You are the Christ.’ Remember, Jesus said I heard directly from God.” Then the other disciples may have said, “Yeah, and then He said to you, ‘Get behind Me, Satan!’
James and John may have said, “What about His great nickname for us: Sons of Thurnder.” And they others said, “Come on, you know that’s because your dad is a loudmouth!”
Matthew made his case next: “I’m the one who left a high-paying job to follow Jesus. I’ll be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” But then he would hear, “It may have been high-paying, but you were a hated tax collector. It couldn’t be you.”
One by one the cases would have been made and then shot down. Do you know who would have probably had the strongest case of all? It was the one who could say, “He lets me carry the money bag and take care of all the finances. Obviously He trusts me the most.” It was Judas Iscariot who could have brought the strongest case.
What’s your case? Do you have reason to believe that you’re just a little more spiritual than someone else? Do you have any sense of spiritual pride or arrogance? Remember Judas.
Women are competitive too
And let’s get something straight. You women may sit there thinking, “Yes. Men are so competitive. Why are they like that?” Women are just as competitive, or even more. Maybe not when it comes to achievement or accomplishment, but women are often more competitive than men when it comes to relationships. You can’t kid me.
So, what’s wrong with competition?
1. Competition threatens community.
Notice that, when Jesus asked them what they were disputing about on the road, it says, “But they all kept silent.” Why? Because they knew it wasn’t a good, healthy conversation. Where were all the claims of greatness now?
They were hoping that He hadn’t noticed; that He didn’t know it was going on. But He did. If you think that He doesn’t notice the disputes and divisions that you are having with other people, you’re wrong too. He knows.
· Competition is defined by opposition.
Without opposition, there is no competition.
· Community is defined by cooperation.
Community, on the other hand, is defined by cooperation. It is different people, doing their best at what they do, not to oppose someone else but to cooperate with them.
2. Competition is contagious.
It spreads like a disease. When introduced into a body where there should be cooperation, competition can quickly shut things down.
What’s going on?
Competition is a sure sign of insecurity. When we are insecure about ourselves we have to prove that we are better than someone else.
What had happened just before this incident in scripture was this: A man brought his sick son to the disciples and they could not heal him. They tried. They should have been able to, but they couldn’t. Jesus came onto the scene, found that they had failed and He healed the sick boy.
Have you ever noticed how your own insecurities fuel your need to be better than someone else? Then you have to show yourself and others that you are? That is destructive competition at work. When you see it in yourself you can stop it.
· There is no place for competition in the church.
The Church is a Body. Competition has no place within a church or among churches.
You or I have no position of privilege over anyone else.
Galatians 2:6 (NKJV) 6 But from those who seemed to be something—whatever they were, it makes no difference to me; God shows personal favoritism to no man—for those who seemed to be something added nothing to me.
And we are not to show no privilege to anyone else.
James 2:9 (NKJV) 9 but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.
· There is no place for competition in marriage.
Scripture says that in marriage husband and wife are ‘one flesh’. One of the most common problems within marriage is competition. It eats it alive.
How is there competition within a marriage? It’s when we begin to keep score. “I do more in this marriage than you do.” “I contribute more to this marriage than she does.” “I sacrifice more in this marriage than he does.” “I suffer more…” “I deserve better…” This is how competition sneaks into marriage to destroy it. Don’t let it happen.
Marriage is not 50/50
One of the most destructive myths ever is that ‘Marriage is 50/50’, because it’s not. If anyone ever told you that, they lied. If marriage is 50/50, than it causes us to keep score. “I think I’m at 76 and he’s only at 24.” Stop keeping score.
Marriage is 100% no matter what. That’s what real marriage is.
3. Competition has a cure.
Jesus knew the disciple’s problem and He also knew their solution. If you are struggling with competitiveness in relationships with others, His words are for you today.
· The cure to competition is serving.
The solution is to serve. How different would my life be if I could stop trying to come out on top and start serving others? It would be huge! How much less anxiety would I have if I stop worrying about who is dressed prettier than me, or who is making more money than me and just serve people. There is real freedom and health for your relationships.
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